Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Being Still...

I am not suppose to be writing this right now. I am suppose to be medating or being still or as I like to say "zoning out". The problem is I pretty much suck at being still. Well, I do sleep and I guess I am pretty still whilst sleeping...and occasional kick or flinch, but alseep I would say I am still. However, I have been informed that is a different state of conscience than meditating or being still, so it does not count.

The origin of my desire for stillness is from the current Bible study I am attending. The author of the study really seems to be into taking time to just be still and listen. Valid point, sounds great...except I am not a "still" person. Yes, that makes me sound like have adult ADHD (not that there is anything wrong with that). However, I do not. I have a laser like focus. I just can not empty my mind and just be still. I have lists that pop in my head. I have journal entries that start to write themselves. And I have a cat that wants to sit on my lap when I am still. Honestly, I would love to watch someone meditating and see what the trick to stillness may be. It sounds delightful to just open one's mind and let everything just breeze out for awhile. I am practicing, but as mentioned, I am writing this now...not in a meditative state. Although if my verb agreement is bad, then it is because I am in a transcendental state.

The biggest issue I have with stopping and being still is it seems impossible. It is not. I know many people who practice being still. They are wonderful, and they have a very peaceful energy that surrounds them. No one has ever noted how peaceful the energy around me is...ever. No, peaceful is not one of my discriptors. I get called organized and focused, which are very kind ways to say I have control issues. True, and I get things done. No one ever wonders if I will follow through with anything. My control issues will not let me be a slacker. Nor will those pesky control issues let me be still and meditate. However, I am working toward being peaceful. Sure, not today. Tomorrow I will try again to be still and find that inner peace that some achieve. Perhaps that is where my laser focus can help me. Or not.

No comments:

Post a Comment