Not A Christmas Letter

Dear Friends & Family,

This year I will not be sending out a Christmas card or letter.

No, none of us has become hideously disfigured making us a photographic nightmare.

No, nothing horrible or shameful has happened in our lives that we are hiding.

Yes, we have done and accomplished things professionally, musically, and academically...but we are not going brag. (My daughter's marching band went to the Competetive Marching Band State Finals this year...little brag)

We, (and by "we" I mean, "me", Allie) have decided to not go nutty this holiday season. Let us be honest, there are a lot of details that go into the holidays. Let's be even more honest and admit most of those details get placed upon moms. That is right, the majority of the frenzy is placed upon the ladies. Or at least that is how I see (and feel) it.

This is my act of rebellion. (I need to get out more, or at least read a book about how to be properly rebellious)

I am taking a page from Queen Elsa's book and "Letting It Go". (Yes, I saw FROZEN a couple times this year).

I love my friends & family.

I wish everyone well.

I will not be sitting up until 2am addressing envelopes to prove my love. Trust me. I still love and care for you, whether or not the postperson drops a card & letter in your mailbox.

The only thing I was going to miss was writing the letter. Lucky for me, I have a blog. So I can write and send this to whomever likes to read it. AND I can be editorially sarcastic and not overly sentimental & sweet. (We all know I struggle with sweetness)

Take some time during this bustling time of year to enjoy your friends, family, and sanity. Pick what you love to do, and do it with joy. And leave the tedious stuff off your list.

Happy Holidays!

85%

I was reading through some of my previous posts and this one from January 2012 really struck me.  (In a good way, others make me cringe) When I first wrote it I felt some slacker guilt for admitting I am not a real perfectionist, but somehow almost two years later, I want to give myself a high five.  This is why I love writing so much.  It captures moments, and often reminds me that I am not done becoming me yet.  And if you did not read this when it was first published...it is new to you.  ---Allie

Yesterday I had a wonderful talk with an equally wonderful friend. The kind of talk where you cover so many topics, commiserate, celebrate, bitch, praise, and laugh through so much of it. It would be wrong to share any specifics of our long conversation, these are things I hold dear and confidential. Anyway at some point we agreed that we like our lives to be going a solid 85% right. I started by confessing that I am happy with life being at a C+. She then pointed out some truths about me, and it was decided that we are solidly B people. And 85% is a solid B. If everything in life is 85 % good then things are fine. Sure 15% may be utter calamity and chaos, but that can be dealt with as long as the percentage of calamity does not gets larger. It should also be mentioned I am a person that looks at life from a school perspective. Perhaps it my education background or just that I see lessons and test in so many aspects of daily living. Example: The sulky faced, rude clerk at the store that is almost begging you to tell him or her off with their sour demeanor. However, you take the high ground and in your mind assume that something hideous must have happened to this person on the way to work today, so you just say, "Thank you. Have a nice day", at the end of your transaction. You pass. You get 100% for being a civil human being in a frustrating, somewhat hostile situation. There is the glimpse into my very grade based brain that is happy to have an 85% good life.

In truth, how many times in your life can you say everything was going perfect? Maybe as a child, on Christmas. At that point I may have said, "And all is right with the world". Other than that pretty much life consists of taking the bad with the good. Think of the most fortunate person you know. Now think about the thing in their life that you can not deal with or would struggle to deal with. Everyone has something, some have more misfortune or drama than others. However, even those with the most charmed life have obstacles to overcome or learn to live with. Those things just may not be obvious to us. Sure their are people living lives of 95% of everything going well, and they are probably happy. However, their margin of error is only 5%...heck, that could cause this person to completely lose it at some point. Living a solid B life is where I choose to dwell. Perhaps I could strive for more, but my solid B keeps me on the honor roll of life. No one is calling me for "life tutoring", but I am also not getting notes home about not living up to my potential. Perhaps this theory exposes me as a slacker, or maybe just as a total realist. It really does not matter as long as I keep my solid B average. Viva la 85%.

Back to School: Smooth Criminal Edition

We are all back to school here.  My daughter started high school.  My son is in fourth grade.  I am enrolled in online traffic school.  You know a typical day in the life of a smooth criminal.  I did not choose the life, it chose me.  Actually, I am not sure that being a chronic lead foot makes me an actual criminal.  It certainly makes me a scofflaw.  It also make me a poor example for my kids who now monitor my speed as if I just learned to drive yesterday.  Perhaps if my parents had corrected my "speedy queen" tendencies from an early age I would not be a 40 year woman enrolled in online traffic school to keep the points from being reported.  No, I am not going blame my parents, but my dad would say things like, "Give her some gas, we don't have all day" (Technically, we probably did have all day.  We lived a rather bucolic little town where not much happened.  Clearly, a breeding ground for young speed demons.).  He would also encourage passing the elderly in their long, slow sedans, once again because we did not have all day (and it turns out we did).  Okay, so I am going to blame my dad a little for my need for speed.  However, he does not read this, or even go on computers.  (Very funny aside, relating to nothing other than poking fun at my dad.  My daughter sent him a text, and he thought it broke his phone because he could not get the words off the screen for 5 minutes.)  And to be completely contrary to societal norms, I do not blame my mother at all for my descent into a life of civil infractions.  Sorry Mom, like I said earlier, the life chose me!

Back Story: Rule 4 in Action

Rule 4 for Being Human is "The lesson is repeated until learned".  (If you are not familiar with The Rules of Being Human click here).  Anyway, back in August my daughter needed to get to a clarinet sectional practice.  I am obsessed with being on time. In fact, if I am not 5 minutes early...I feel late.  Yes, it is a bit OCD (I own that).  Anyway, in my quest for her to be on time, which my OCD said needed to be five minutes early, I was driving too fast through a known speed trap. POP. Ticket. Online Traffic School.  How did I know it was speed trap?  I was pulled over in the same place several years ago.  I also see people pulled over there all the time (It is the road I travel to get to my daughter's school and my local Target).  So I knew better.  My beloved pointed out all of these things to me.  I know, but I did not choose the fast  life, the fast life chose me!  And the universe was going keep teaching me about speeding until I learned.

The worst part was not getting a ticket.  I deserved it.  This was not my most deserving act of speeding...I have gone much faster.  No, the worst part was after I finally dropped my daughter off (seven minutes late), my son said, "You were not going as fast as could have been going".
At that point he truly believed some great injustice had been done to his mom.  He did not see me as deserving of a traffic citation.  He did not want me punished.  He even said. "You are a good fast driver".
Thank you son, I am a good fast driver.  And I am still in the wrong.  Worse than that, I am a bad role model .  Rules are rules.  Rules have consequences.  In the past I have written letters to get out of tickets, or had them changed to a non-moving violation.  Basically, weaseling out of what I actually did wrong.  I knew this time I needed to accept what I did. I have accepted the actual consequences for my crime.  I paid the fine, and now I am taking a class to learn why my "good fast driving" is not as good as I believed.

My son went with me to the courthouse to pay my ticket.  He asked me if I was mad at the police now.  (after randomly recalling a song from my youth by the gangster rap group NWA...which is entirely inappropriate)  I told him I was the one that messed up, the policeman was just doing his job.  It was in the parking lot of the courthouse that my son said he would make sure I never "speeded" again.  Now I have a 9 year old parole officer.  I report to him daily, and do his laundry.

Online Traffic School

This time I may actually learn that speeding is wrong, because paying the money was easy, but taking an online class is a mild form of torture.  The course is a mandatory four hours.  It has sections that you read, and then answer 10 questions.  No big deal.  However, it is all timed.  If your read the section in 10 minutes, and the program allotted 30 minutes for that section, you have to go back and review the reading (or file your nails) for 20 more minutes until the questions pop up.  It also has these alarming yellow flashing boxes that pop up randomly with questions you need to answer within 10 seconds to prove you are indeed in front of your computer and not taking a shower, vacuuming, or doing much of anything else.  It turns out this fast driver is also a fast reader.  I could have opted to take an actual class in a classroom that lasted 4 hours.  I am pretty sure that would have killed me, or at least killed my spirit.  Online I can do a section, take a break, and go back.  As long as I finish before October 24, and pass the test with 70% correct answers.  Just so you know, my competitive nature will not let me get a 70%.  I have thus far earned 100% on all of my modules.  In a classroom setting it would have been fun to waive around a few 100% tests (that is the only upside of having actual classmates).  I did not choose the nerd life either...(it chose me).

Reforming

Honestly, for the first time in all of my driving years, which is many.  I am obeying speed limits.  Not because I particularly think that they are right, but because it is a law.  We live in a society that needs laws to keep good order.  Now it is about being a good example for my kids.  I want them to be be good drivers someday, and I am their primary example of driving, so I need to make it good and lawful.  (Yes, my beloved drives them places, but not as much as I do)  I want to be good role model.

Now back to my Traffic School Modules...

Precious Cargo

Okay...today I must give credit to old friend from high school for the topic. (Thanks Chris)  I was scrambling for something solid to write about, and nothing on my idea list was producing much inspiration (oddly, on another day I may fight over competing ideas...that is how it goes).  My solution was to ask for ideas from my FaceBook connections.  And BOOM, the perfect idea, a very common problem that most parents face either daily, or if they are lucky only on an occasion or two...THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT.

I am of the opinion that children are the future, and though I do earnestly believe my kids are the smartest, kindest, wittiest, and most precious of all the children on the planet, ALL CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL.  However, I am forced to believe that not all parents hold the view that all children are precious. Why would I think that?  Because some parents drive like absolute fools in the parking lots of their children's school. Parents that drive with no regard for the little people walking around.  Parents with no regard for the safety of the other parents in lot.  Parents that are in such a hurry to get their kid to school and get to work, nothing else seems to matter.   I know school parking lots, and drop-off loops get rather congested and move slowly at drop off and pick up time.  But guess what?  Children move rather slowly when weighed down by backpacks, boots, snow-pants  and the posters of the solar-system.  At pick-up time, children get confused as to which vehicle belongs to their parent (all vehicles with three rows of seating do look similar).  And yes, children wander where they probably should not.  They are children, and they will learn.  Almost hitting them with your car, or honking will not speed this learning process.  School children are confused, but they are precious and special.  For those of you who believe that the middle school and high school parking lots will be better to manage, let go of this notion.  The same parents that drove like fools in the elementary parking lots will be driving like fools in the secondary school parking lots.  Not to mention, if you thought young children were confused; texting, hormonal teens are confused and conflicted.  Yes, I get frustrated in the parking lots at my children's schools, but unlike many, I am fine with driving slowly and watching for kids (because they are precious and special).  Call me crazy, but I think that all parents should do same thing.  Both of the schools that my kids attend send out letters and maps at the beginning of the school year that indicate traffic flow patterns, drop-off zones, and parent parking.  I find it helpful to follow these guides as if they were enforceable by law (they are not, but it keeps me honest, even when I am in a hurry).

Here are some helpful thoughts and guidelines for dealing with school parking lots.

1. Follow the recommended traffic and parking patterns.  If it does not make sense and you have a better idea that would improve traffic flow, write it up and propose it to the principal.  I am sure he/she would take it under consideration for the next school year.
2.  Drive slowly.  I have seen so many parents just gun the engine as soon as their child is out of vehicle and on the side walk.  Yes, it is now your time to get out of lot, and get on with your day, but other children are still in the lot.  It is a parking lot, not a drag strip.
3. Walk your really young ones to the building.  Kindergartners and first graders generally need parental guidance to get to the school building.  I have walked other people's young children to their entrance doors on several occasions because their parents dropped them off, pulled away, and never realized their child was uncertain of where to go.  Kids get confused sometimes.   
4. No swearing or gesturing.  I am not known for having the cleanest language on the planet, but even I can get in and out of a school parking lot without swearing out loud (I keep it all on the inside, with a pretty smile on my face).  Gestures are right out, completely unacceptable.  For the children, keep your road rage in check.
5. We all have somewhere else to go. No one wants to be jammed in the school lot.  Your job is no more important than other persons.  Leave your house earlier if you are in a time crunch.  Otherwise deal with it.
6. All of our kids are the most precious and special people in the world.  Watch out for all of them and keep them safe.

**There was no really good way to tie this personal account of the confused & conflicted teen in the post.  So here it is as a funny aside.  I was parked, in a parking space in my mini-van, at my daughter's school and a kid that was texting walked right into the side of van.  Not just at the front bumper, right into the side where passenger door is.  He looked up and saw me in the driver seat staring at him, and I was giggling (because it was hilarious).  He turned, walked away, and then tripped over one of those cement bumper things in the parking lot.  It was truly precious and special.  I fear natural selection may get that young fellow. 

In MY Opinion...on opinions

As you can see from my title this is going to be a rip roaring, very topical, super important, and possibly life changing post.  If you believe any of this, please direct yourself away from this page now, before the disappointment changes the core of your being.  I can not be held responsible for your declined mental state or that fact that you may, in fact, lose IQ points reading about MY opinion...on opinions.  We have all had those conversations that upon the completion you wished there was some actual way to get the time back, and perhaps a small portion of intelligence that was sacrificed .   You know the person that knows it all, and tells it all...and is exhausting to hear.  You walk away like you have been slugged in the stomach.  Doubled over mentally from having to hear all the "great wisdom" this person possesses.  It is painful.  You wanted to contradict the person, but it would just prolong the conversation you never wanted.  Knowing if you argued an opposing opinion you may appear just as head-strong and thought inflexible as the person that is basically, lecturing you on their topic.  It is a conundrum.  We are all entitled to our opinions, but let us be really honest, some people have really messed up opinions.  My opinions are messed up too.  My worldview is pretty jacked up. (I will provide some examples of my messed up worldview at the end...judge for yourself)  I own it.  It is mine.  I will take it to my grave. I am not often very good at verbalizing my opposing viewpoint to other people's jacked up opinions because I have a sarcastic little monster that lives in me that just likes to poke jabs under the radar.  This is very poor communication, but it makes me happy to just poke.  It could be classified as passive aggressive behavior, and that is a fair assessment.  However, my sarcastic nature keeps me in the quasi-good graces of the ultra-opinionated, "never wrong" people of the world.  The people that truly, honestly believe that their opinions are the gospel truth, and thus should be preached.  Opposing viewpoints are not welcomed by the "never wrongs".  Facts to the contrary are like acid being thrown in their face.  The recoil and counter attack is not worth it for me.  I am not a "never wrong".  I am wrong a lot.  I admit it, apologize if needed, and move on.

There is some notion out there that a personal opinions can not be wrong.  Opinions can be very wrong and misguided.  They can be right to the individual, but that does not make it universally true.  These personal opinions may guide that person, and that is fine as long as that person is aware that the rest of the planet is not held to standards that their opinion sets.  And we can all agree that some people are very misguided, non?  Here are examples of some of my opinions that guide me through my life, but certainly are not universally true...

• There is a limit on how long you can blame your childhood for your adult problems.  The limit is 25 years, if you can not sort yourself out by 25 years of age, get professional help.  Yes, we all have baggage from childhood no matter how idyllic or traumatic.  Get over it.  Go to therapy if you can not put your past in your past.  Life is too short to keep reliving your first 18 years.  Make peace with it, and do better as an adult. (I may expand this one into a full blog post...it is my best opinion...in MY opinion)
• Dark chocolate is better than any other type of chocolate.
• Small dogs are just over needy cats that bark.  If you like small animals, stick with a cat.  Their aloof independence is heartwarming, and they do not pee the floor when guests walk in the front door.
• Men should never color their hair.  Silver hair on a man is sexy.
• You can handle anything for 8 weeks.
• Ride the biggest roller-coaster at least once, and never admit that sucked to those have not tried it.  Seeing their scared faces and slightly pained necks is worth the lie.
• Honesty is the best policy unless you are talking about roller-coasters, pulling a practical joke, or are trying to get out of a conversation with a "never wrong"  
• It is okay to wear gold and silver jewelry at the same time.
• Toe rings are wrong.
• It is okay to be wrong.  Sometimes it can be fun. 

So those are some of my opinions.  I told you some are pretty jacked up, and I am fine with it.  If you do not agree with me...don't be me.  See how easy that was?  

Prone to Write

I am attempting something never done before.  I writing while laying on my couch.  I am also planning on publishing the post.  So this could be interesting.  Normally if I am laying down to write it is in my journal or a notebook.  It is typically on my stomach and my left arm gets all cramped up from the odd angle I lean on it.  Anyway, today I took a rather glorious, and embarrassing digger down the steps and my lower back feels like it may recover, but it is uninterested in sitting in an office chair at the computer...which is upstairs.  Yes, the same stairs that I took the express trip on an hour ago.  My hands were full, my feet are large, the stairs are narrow.  It was a perfect storm.  Now I am itching to write so I am grateful to my iPad that allows me to get on my blogger account.  The functions are not as easy as on the computer, not to mention laying on your back is not the most natural position to type.  I have pillows stacked upon me to get the screen at the right angle.  It is comical.  When one is prone to write, sometimes one must write while prone.

Today when I was walking with my dog, Ninja, I noticed that the squirrels were incredibly active.  Ninja fancies squirrels so it is easy to notice those furry little scamps.  Ninja believes in her sincere little doggy heart that it is her life's goal and purpose to catch, and kill or maim all squirrels that cross her path.  Unfortunately for Ninja, I am a bit squeamish when it comes to blood and guts, so my life's goal and purpose (at least when I am walking her) to hold her back from all small woodland creatures.  Thus most of walks, on very squirrelly days, end up with both of us frustrated with each other.  I am annoyed that I have had to tug the leash and say, "Ninja, leave it alone" a thousand times.  She is frustrated to have been on the receiving end of the tugging and crabbing...which I am sure all she hears is, "Ninja! blah ba wah blah".  We came back from the walk today and retreated to our separate corners.  Well, she went to take a nap, and she is a champion at sleeping.  This dog could sleep anywhere, anytime, and fall asleep in seconds.  It is amazing.  That was unnessisary information, but you will forgive me, as I am more prone to ramble when I am writing prone.  So I went to sort out some rubbish upstairs and then took my great fall, that landed me on the sofa.  Now a rambling post about squirrels...yikes.  I have not even looked to see if we have any pain meds in the house.  However, as I look at my rather stream of conscience type of writing I am doing, it seems like I am medicated.  I think it is just because laying down the thoughts come are more random.  It is as if my body posture is welcoming more trivial things.  Or maybe I just wanted to write something, and they can not all be well crafted, perfectly thought out musings.  Today, just musings. Very randomly laid out for you.

Be careful on the stairs or do not let the urge to clean overtake you in the first place.  I wish I would have gotten that memo from the future earlier...but isn't that just the way it goes?

Wicked Wednesday

This week Wicked Wednesday is dedicated to truly wicked people. You know the people I am talking about. They are always crabby and willing to share a heaping measure of  misery with others. In fact these people almost always seem almost joyful about being jerks. The miserable, truly wicked people are on my mind today because recently one of my dear friends had a run in with a very awful person. My dear friend Louise is honestly sweet to the core. She is kind, giving, and very seldom crabby. (And an amazing optometrist...highly recommended by this particular blogger)  This past week she was verbally assaulted by an extremely angry crossing guard by her son's school. Yes, a crossing guard that helps children cross the street.  Admittedly, my friend pulled her car across the cross walk while waiting in the pick-up line. Louise is not usually the "pick-up" person, she was helping out a neighbor, so when she did this she was unaware of her faux pas. The angry crossing guard who pounded upon her car window and proceeded to yell at her,  pointed out her mistake, while also hurling some very unfair and untrue assumptions about Louise. That is right, the woman yelled at her. Instead of making Louise aware of her pick- up line error in a polite way, this woman just yelled at her. I am sorry, but that is not okay. Yelling is just not an acceptable way to communicate anything, well I guess it communicates that the yeller is angry and unstable, but it does not convey a message very well.

When I heard about this incident it reminded me that civility seems to be optional in society. Not for me, but for many. Last week I shared about the cell phone yelling lady at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...she was scary.  Granted she was being uncivil to her own family, but one might imagine her ire could be turned upon a stranger as well.  In restaurants I overhear patrons talk in rude ways to the server when their meal or some aspect of service is not to their liking. I hear uncivil tones at the grocery, the gas station, and so many other places. Why? Why are people so rude? It does not matter if it is a stranger or a familiar person, the tone in society has become wicked. Not the fun, devilish scamp wicked that this blogger likes and highly endorses. No, there is an ugly wicked tone in society today. I do not approve or enjoy it at all.  It is downright awful.

Obviously, I do not advocate being a passive doormat. If you get a bad meal at a restaurant, please do let your server know in a polite way. If someone gets in front of you in a long line, give them the benefit of the doubt and nicely point out where the line starts. Generally, people are easily confused by crowds and lines. Most people are not trying to get away with cutting. I know that I am pretty embarrassed when I make a big crowd faux pas, like cutting or blocking an aisle. If someone kindly points out the issue, I am fine with correcting my error. If someone yells at me to point out my error, I correct the problem, feel embarassed, and then mentally plot what I would do to that person if I were an uncivil, angry, jerk.(Note: I am rather creative, and the jerks of the world should be grateful I am too civil to ever carry out any evil plots)  I do not like thinking mean thoughts about people. I like to believe people are good intentioned and do not try to make others feel like garbage. Sadly, some people do like to make others miserable. Some people live to make other people feel like garbage. I  feel bad for those people because clearly something I their life has turned them sour and wicked (again, not the good wicked, like your beloved blogger).  Life is not always a bowl of cherries. In fact it is seldom is ideal and serene.  Things go wrong.  Life is often messy, my life, your life, and the lives of angry, miserable, yelling jerks.  Often the only thing a person can control in a situation is how they choose to react.  I choose civility.  Sure, I get mad, frustrated, and even angry at times. I also firmly believe and strive to practice the old adage, "You catch more flies with honey".

I would have rather posted about a silly, wicked scamp of piece today.  However, for my friend who was a recent victim of an uncivil person, I felt compelled to write about something truly wicked in society.  Go forth and be gentle to others.  Nobody is perfect, but you do not need to point it out unkindly, or at high volume.

My friend agreed to the pseudonym "Louise" and kindly allowed me to share her brush with the uncivil crossing guard.

Wicked Wednesday

It is time again to be wicked.  I can not help myself.  Actually, I could help myself if the outside world did not continually act foolishly when I am around.  This week my wickedness is based on a very loud exchange in the travel sized toiletries section at my local Bed, Bath, & Beyond.  Please note, I was an innocent bystander.  I was on a mission to get tiny toothpaste, shampoo, and hair gel for my beloved who is preparing for a trip.  The TSA and the tiny toiletry making companies are in cahoots.  Oh, and the quart sized zipper bag making companies are in on it too.  Those entities have collaborated to make travel extremely annoying.  The couple and their college aged daughter that were getting loud in travel sized section seem to be highly agitated and stressed  by their impending travel.  The wife was yelling at someone on the phone, whilst directing her husband and daughter on which tiny toiletries to select for their upcoming trip.  I have never seen someone get so worked up about hygiene products.  Her poor  husband and daughter were grabbing bottles, bringing them to phone yelling woman, only to have her chastise them on their selections.  Then they scurried back to the wall of tiny toiletries to try again to satisfy the angry phone talking woman.  The phone lady kept saying, "3oz or less!!!!".  She had clearly been driven wild by the TSA /tiny toiletry/ zipper bag conspiracy.  Now the wicked part, sure the yelling lady was pretty wicked, but that was her wickedness.  MY WICKEDNESS was staying in that section studying the ingredients labels on products I had no intent on purchasing. Yes, I was lingering to see how it all would work out.  Then I got tired of the yelling, and the calamity.  I was hoping to overhear where they were going, or something that would help make sense of the crazy behavior.  I learned nothing other than the phone lady is bossy and loud, and her husband and daughter live in fear of her.  Okay, I assume they fear her, because I was starting to fear her and I do not even know her.

The lesson to take away from all of this is, behave yourself in public.  You never know who is pretending to be interested in deodorant ingredients so they can hear your family conflicts.  It could be a wicked blogger and you could become her Wednesday fodder.

Parenting Advice

Don't think for one second that this is the post where she spouts all of her collective child rearing knowledge and advice. I have only been at this parent thing for 12.5 years. I can not claim any sort of victory in the parenting arena. That being said, you might think that I am open to hearing parenting advice. This would be erroneous. I am a live and learn kind of person. Things are going okay, so far so good. God also blessed me very easy children. Aside from some stubbornness and feistiness, that was likely inherited from the paternal genetic contribution, they are both really enjoyable people. If I were not their mother I would still think they were very cool people.

However, today, despite my general apathy toward parenting lectures, books, and advice in most any form, I am attending two parenting type events. The first is a talk by a man who has a lot of kids. I believe the number is 13 kids, a mixture of biological, adopted and foster children. Yes, 13. That is a crew. This man also writes. I am more interested in the writing perspective, but I also have a sick fascination with large families. God did not give me the uterus to produce, or the patience to handle more than two kids. It will be fascinating to hear what this man has to say about parenting a brood of such size. It will likely leave me feeling glad I just have two kids and two pets to manage everyday.

The second parenting type event is a presentation called Drugs 101. My beloved is accompanying me to this event. I currently have no drug concerns with my kids, but I also feel that information on such a topic is good to have. Knowledge is power in this situation. The flyer for Drugs 101 had a series of questions about the current drugs of choice for young people. I did not understand about seven of the questions at all, so I signed us up to attend. I will certainly let you know what I learn, or if anything silly happened. Hopefully, I will pay attention. In large groups I tend to start people watching, or pick up on the speakers vocal tics. If the speaker is an "ummer" I often tally mark all the "umms". Yes, this speech defect is distracting to me. It also makes it impossible to comprehend the content. Thankfully, my beloved will be there. He is a good listener, and has no public speaking training so he does not notice vocal tics; like, umm, okay, and yeah right. It is good to have such an unflappable wingman. Seriously, I do need to become more aware of the current drug culture. I have only heard excellent things about this program and it comes with a large amount of handouts. The handouts will be my saving grace because I am person that learns better through reading. Prepared to be dazzled by my drug information in future posts.

Parenting advice is still not my thing, but today will be informative. I know that I will learn something. If nothing else it will give me more topics to cover here.