Using swear words, cusses, potty words, and gutter talk is a personal vice. In the past I have celebrated that I have a very unrestrained vocabulary. Honestly, these are just words and somehow they got a bad reputation, I have no idea how or why or when. The fact is some words have a bad reputation. Such is life for these sad marginalized denizens of "word world".
I get the not taking the Lord's name in vain, it is after all one of the Ten Commandents. I also fall short on this one, but so you know, I feel bad about it and try really hard. The backstory on my blasphemy is my father invoked the name of the son of God very often throughout my childhood. He even had a middle name for Jesus, it is "Herman", in case you are wondering. Please do not run to your Bible to authenticate that, it's not in there. My father's blaspheming was a source of irritation for my mother, as it should have been. It is very hard to tell your children not to say or do something a parent does. It became a, "Do as I say, not as your father does", situation. It has become a bit of a family joke that my dad is perhaps the most religious man ever, since he calls upon the Lord several times a day. I however, I am working toward not misusing the Lord's name. It is just not right, and a horrible example for my kids.
However I still have the issue of the other "bad words" that I am prone to use, without any real shame. Admittedly I use them not just in moments of frustration, but in general conversation. I edit in situations. If I do not know you, I certainly do not get "colorful" in my speech. I am not a fool. However, I do not edit in front of my kids 100% of the time. In fact, I have gotten pretty lazy in the at home language edits. If I could have a seven second delay like live TV does, I am sure the censors could clean me up. Unfortunately, the technology is not likely to show up at my house for my daily use. My daughter has come up with a solution for me. The cereal solution. Everytime I need a swear word I am to substitute a breakfast cereal name. So an example would be, when a car pulls out in front of me I do not say, "son of a b****", instead I say "Capt. Crunch". I actually tried this exact thing yesterday, and it worked. I felt better, getting the frustration out verbally, and I did not have to say, "Pardon my French", to my daughter. She has long been informing me that "my French", seems a little sketchy. The "frosted flaking" dog also seems on board. She still moves out of the way when hearing a cereal command. I was slightly concerned she would just think I was going to feed her. It must have something to do with tone.
I am not sure how it is going to be in general conversation with people that have become accustom to my colorful language. I am not sure if I can pull it off without laughing in some instances, but who knows, it could start a cereal revolution. It's time to get off your Apple Jacks and clean up your Frankenberry mouth. Are you Nut Clusters with me? Can I get a, Wheaties yeah? It might work...maybe.