Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
- Do Not Suggest Something You Are Unwilling to do Yourself. This should be a law. As I mentioned in many posts, I am a professional volunteer (that's right professional, as in do not try this at home. I am a professional, you may get hurt). Well, in this capacity I do many things, most relating to my kids and their various interests. I tend to do more than the average mom, but that is my choice, and I own it. Here is where the unseasoned person gets in trouble with me. Suggesting something else for me to do. As in, "I think it would be great if you could get all the scouts to march in formation, while singing America the Beautiful. That would be great if you could do that." Agreed, that would be simply amazing, however asking the person who is already the leader, and chairperson of several different activities to make this great moment in home video history happen for you, is insane. I speak for all the "do-ers" out there who get all kinds of things done...SHUT UP IDEA PEOPLE. If you are not willing to make it happen and lead it yourself, you need to zip it. If you have a great idea, you need to back it with some action.
- U-turns are not the best way to go the other direction. My husband and I have noticed a marked increase in the U-turn on the streets lately. I am not sure if people are that worried about saving gas or are really that short on time or what. It is not a safe practice in a city. U-turn all you want on roads with no traffic, but you are begging for trouble doing that on the streets of this town. Use some common sense people!!!
- Blue tooth users appear crazy. I say this because these people walk up and down the aisle of stores, seemingly talking to themselves. I get that the whole earpiece thing is a safety feature in the car so a person can have two hands on the wheel. However, walking around outside of your vehicle laughing and chattering away with no one next to you and your hands free...well, you look like a nut job. Associated with this is anyone who is using any type of phone in a public bathroom. Please, allow yourself a few uninterrupted moments to do your business. Everyone deserves a bathroom break, and I am pretty sure the world will continue to spin if you are out of the loop for five minutes. I am also sick of hearing your call while I am answering the call of nature. Enough said.
- Cider Mills. I am not sure if I was disadvantaged as a child, but I never recall visiting a cider mill. I know they existed because we had apple cider in our home. Now it seems everyone flocks to the cider mills every weekend. My kids have gone on field trips to apple orchards and cider mills, but as a family we have not done this activity. I like cider and doughnuts as much as the next person, but why do I have to see the source of these foods being made? I also like salad. Should I go to the lettuce fields? A tomato patch? The crouton factory? I feel like a jerk not being all up on the cider mill visit, but I really do not get it. There are tons of bees swarming the sweet products, and the places are crowded to maximum capacity. Perhaps I am a cider Scrooge...I just do not have the Fall Harvest spirit. I am curious as to what three ghosts would visit me if I am indeed a "cider Scrooge". That feels like a whole blog post in itself.
- Campaign for the 25 Hour I am still campaigning for one more hour in each day. I would blog more, and my nails would look better. My petitions to God have not yet been answered, but I will keep them up until I get less busy or He grants us all one more hour per day. Perhaps if some of the presidential hopefuls focused on giving people more time they could get me more interested in other things they have to say.
Have a wonderful weekend, whether you are at a cider mill, or wandering around like a nut talking on your bluetooth. Just keep it safe and avoid the U-turns.
Friday, October 7, 2011
The baseball season is long. I think I have heard it is 160 some games long??? That is a lot of baseball. It is not humanly possible for me to care or even feign interest for that long. The Tigers have been having a phenomenal season, and I have been following it in news excerpts and fleeting glances at Sports Center. Until the playoffs...and now I am really watching whole games and losing out on some precious sleep. It is exhausting caring this much. Staying up late, and still getting up early. Last night's win against the Yankees actually made me so joyful, and excited I slept horribly. I was just too jazzed to properly fall asleep. If I cared all season long, and lost the amount of rest I have lost during the playoffs throughout the whole season...well, I would be a complete mess. I am not sure how you die hard, all season long fans do it. I am fully prepared to lose more sleep as the Tigers take on the Rangers. I will cherish the sleep on nights with no games, and I will very much appreciate any day games that may happen. Frankly, it is just so much fun to be swept up in the excitement. GO TIGERS!!! (I will sleep after World Series)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
If the writing it out does not stop the gloom and negativity, I head right to the DCN's. What are DCN's? (You know you are wondering) DCN's are Dinosaur Chicken Nuggets. Now you are wondering, what the hell does that have to do with anything? Well, DCN's (you just say the letters, never the words) are exactly what my kids requested for lunch a few days ago. I was not clued into the lingo, so it when something like this...
Daughter: Hey, umm, we were thinking some DCN's would hit the spot.
Me: Umm, first of all who is "we" and second what are DCN's?
(insane laughter from son (who is in another room) & daughter)
Son: (yelling from another room) DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGETS.
(more laughter from them, and now from me)
Thus was born the DCN phenomenon. It is just a funny thing to hear, and fun to say, and even tasty to eat (occasionally). We do not really have DCN's in the freezer regularly, which makes it even funnier that my kids have taken to calling this food by its initials. It makes me laugh every time I think about it. Yes, it is ridiculous. No, it probably is not funny to anyone else in the world except the four people that live in my house. The point is everyone has a DCN in their life. Something funny that can bring a smile to their face, and a lightness to their heart. Life needs these little things that keep us from taking ourselves too seriously, or to encourage us to get out of the pity pool, dry off, and get on with life on a more positive plain.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My daughter was had just turned two in 2001 and my son had not yet been born. So for obvious reasons neither had much of a concept of what happened or why. Seeing video replay of the World Trade Center under attack today was the first time either one had seen the horror. (I did not let my two year old see the constant coverage 10 years ago, not knowing what her little growing mind would retain) They both had questions. What happened? Why would a plane do that? Who would do that? Pretty much the same questions I had ten years ago. So over lunch we talked about terrorists, Osama bin Laden, and the resilience of the American spirit. Do they understand now? No. I do not think I ever will either. However, they do understand that we, as Americans, can never forget, nor can we live in fear.
Monday, August 15, 2011
September 6 is not a completely arbitrary date, it happens to be the first day of school. So it is somewhat logical.
Friday, May 6, 2011
She does not care?
Now to clarify my new, "I do not care" attitude. This does not apply to my family, and close friends. I will always care what those closest to me think about me. I love them and they matter. I also love myself enough to not let "others" opinions effect me any longer. This attitude applies to the "others". I no longer care if my children's' friend's mother thinks I am lovely or a complete witch. I know who I am. I am good mother, and decent person. So I do not need to conform to any standards set by others. The best part of my new mindset is no longer having to tolerate annoying situations. Prime example, carpools with kids that are obnoxious. If the parent is able to drive their child somewhere and is only asking me to drive so they can get out of driving, I am saying "No, we will see you there". I am not heartless, I will drive if it is schedule issue or car trouble, but just so "we can all go together", forget it. I do not have to deal with banal conversation while someones kid tears up my vehicle (and the parent ignores the behavior). Not happening anymore. My kids are well behaved, and properly threatened with consequences for poor behavior, before they enter another persons home or car, so they always are respectful. If others are not going to teach their offspring to act civil or face consequences, that is their problem. I do not care, I am not dealing with it. Bottom line, I am done being a "people pleaser", because it is unpleasing to me.
I know my new outlook is not going to be well received by many, luckily I don't care. Those nearest and dearest to me know that this was inevitable. I have said, "yes" and agreed to some pretty unbearable situations for too long. I was bound to either break or put my foot down. Now the foot is down. People pleasing is something unique to women. I have not often run into a man that is overly concerned about what the peripheral people in their lives think about them. Good job men, I am proud of you for not caring. Not that you care what I think. Likewise, I don't care that you don't care. See? This is fun already.
Happy Mother's Day!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Last night while dining in a reasonably priced restaurant with my children, the people in the booth across from us drove me nuts. These people were complaining about every aspect of their reasonably priced meal. My daughter pointed this out to me, and she is at a very "complainish" stage in life. So if you are complaining enough to make her notice...well, you are doing something. First the coffee was too cold. The replacement coffee was too hot. (By the way, coffee is a hot beverage, thus the first complaint was valid. The second? That is called being a jerk). The man's reasonable prices steak was too tough. This reasonable priced restaurant is known for its pancakes, so why you would expect a Ruth's Chris style steak experience at a pancake house is beyond me. The complaints just kept flowing. In the meantime, my happy party of three was joyfully eating breakfast for dinner (a true delight). Well except my daughter who had to try the chicken and waffles, I am not sure how to classify that meal. She declared it a "taste treat". We had the same waitress as the complainers, a lovely person. Our food was prepared in the same kitchen, I even had coffee (it was great). I believe these people were just being malcontents. Perhaps they only see the bad in everything. Maybe they were angling to get a free meal. Whatever it was it reminded me that one of my pet peeves is people who go to reasonably priced restaurants and complain when they do not get five star food. It is on the same vein as people that are surprised that Taco Bell meat is not 100% beef. Really? That shocks you? The world must be a real trip for some people.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Yup, that kind of motivational speaker. My internal motivational speaker is broken today. Yesterday I was highly motivated. I did lots of laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, picked up the clutter on the counters, and I even washed down the kitchen cabinets. Yesterday I was the epitome of motivated. I was the spokes model for getting things done. Clearly, I over did it. Today I have a list and as I look at each item I say, "Nope, not now. Next". Then I get to bottom and go back to top and repeat. It is very repetitious and annoying. Where is motivated me? Did I use her all up yesterday, and now I am stuck with Apathetic Allie? No good proper work is done with Apathetic Allie. My mother would say, "It sounds like you are in a morass, a morose morass". Guess where I get my love of words and alliteration?
If I were motivated I would create this invention, the Motivational Speaker, to prod me on my way to accomplishing things when I feel like just sitting and reading a book. However, that seems like a lot of work. I know nothing of how to make an electronic gadget. Truth be told I am pretty sure there is already an "app" for it. There must be, there is an app for everything.
Today, if you are reading this, and you are motivated. Please create a Motivation Speaker for me and all the other inertia challenged people that need that extra bit of prodding now and then. However, I assume if you are reading this, you are also surfing the internet because you are avoiding doing something of purpose as well. In that case, enjoy. I am sure we will find our motivation again. Maybe not today, but soon. Happy Thursday!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
- When did that happen? Do you ever just look at a lamp, or into a corner of your home and see cobwebs or an insane layer of dust. Clearly this dust and webbing can not just happen overnight, but one day you look and think, "I am not Martha Stewart. I am not even a hobo Martha Stewart". These things creep up on me. Generally things like this spawn a mini cleaning frenzy. That is what happened in the kitchen today. The hood over the stove was crazy dusty. I swear last night when I was standing at that stove cooking that exact same hood was perfectly clean. We must have a dust elf that visited last night.
- Spring pictures. When did schools decide that Fall school pictures were not enough and now they try to make people get Spring pictures taken of their children? I am fine with Fall pictures. I find that the picture packages are pretty expensive, but I roll with it once a year. Now I am being guilted into Spring pictures. Well, no I am not being guilted into anything because I am a strong woman, and I can say "no". Even the kids think its a dumb thing. They do not like Fall pictures, so they are glad to back me in my opposition to Spring pictures. It feels good to have a united front with them. It is a bit strange, since being a parent and being a kid so often puts us at odds with each other. Thank you stupid Spring picture flier for uniting a mother with her offspring.
- LEGOS. I swear one of these days I am going to need to have a LEGO surgically removed from my foot. Clear LEGOS should be outlawed. My son does a great job cleaning up all except the "clears". I walk in his room and find the clears with my foot. OUCH. Generally I need to construct a string of obscenties long enough to make a sailor blush. Even worse, if the kids are home I have to clean it up. So then it sounds something like this, "Holy Mother of Pearl, I want to kick the sugar beat that invented froggin' clear LEGOS. What a flip floppin' jerk. My fooooot, my poooor fooooot". Yup, I pretty much can't stand the clear LEGO. Worst thing ever. Or until I think of something worse.
Thank you for indulging me in a quicky. Now back to that kitchen. I just peeked in there, it is not cleaning itself.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Card playing is not something I did in my family growing up. We are not card people. We are are a cerebral people, we play Trivial Pursuit. I come from a family that likes to spout the crazy amount of useless facts in our enlarged heads. Are we all geniuses? No, not all of us. We could get pretty worked up in a game of Trivial Pursuit. It was competitive, and I loved it because even as a young person I had a lot of useless facts. I am proud of my useless facts. My useless facts make me fun to sit next to at a dinner party. Knowing a little about various topics makes for sparkling conversation. Point being card playing was not a part of my upbringing. Cards are not full of fun facts. Cards are cards.
My beloved spouse is from "card people". His parents had regular card games at their home. Socially this was their thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Many people play cards. I have girlfriends that carry decks of cards in their purses "just in case". Okay, "just in case" of what??? I have been afraid to ask.
Euchre has always been the card game that tested my patience with my spouse. Really, it tests his patience with me. I learned that game in college from one of my roommates and I liked playing with her and other people. True, I can not remember "trump" even if I call it up (seriously). In college it was fun. We would flirt to distract our competition. Good times. Until I played euchre with my future spouse, my brother, and his future ex-wife. Suddenly my not remembering trump, and not paying attention to my partners cards made a difference. Note: DO NOT OVER -TRUMP YOUR PARTNER. This seems to insight an annoyed rage in my spouse. Not a violent rage, even worse it is the eye-rolling rage. At times I was sure he would roll his eyes out of his head. This type of response from ones beloved is very painful. Even worse is the "talking about it" later. He honestly would replay how the cards were played and how I "over-trumped" his "trick". I can not even remember what trump is during the game, let alone all the card that were played after several hands of euchre. He takes cards seriously. That is the way he was raised. This scenario has replayed in several settings over the years. A close friend witnessed the "euchre curse" and I really think she was pretty shocked by the emotion. Even she said, "Maybe you two should not play cards together. Ever".
Trivia Girl can not roll with Card Shark. He enjoys this card game. He has skill and apparently a photographic memory. He does not know that John Quincy Adams used to swim in the Potomac River most days of his presidency (true fact). That is how we differ.
So is it really about the cards? No. It is about me not wanting my spouse thinking I am a moron. I really do not care what the rest of the world thinks. Any other person in a Euchre tournament can say, "Allie is a real dolt when it comes to playing cards", and I literally would not care. Well, I may have a few snarky comments, but that is just me. My spouse's opinion matters. It mattered when we were dating, and it matters to this day. So it has never been about the cards. The cards are just the thing that exposes a shortcoming in me that I prefer he not see. The cards are the pants or dress you try on one size too small (because just maybe they will work) and then look in the mirror to see the horror. No one wants their mate to see that. Cards expose my mental figure flaws.
This revelation that is not about the cards has taken me about seventeen years to realize. Perhaps because I have never wanted to admit that someone's opinion mattered to me. Perhaps now I can learn to play cards for enjoyment and to socialize. Maybe I am going to have to let him read this blog so he knows its not about the cards after all. Maybe.
Friday, February 18, 2011
- I do not have a cell phone and everyone else does, I will be the only 7th grader without a phone.
- Make-up. I am the only kid that does not wear mascara and liner.
REALLY. This is what I am on the hook for, no phone and make-up? Great. I have a retort for both points. First of all, the kids with phones were texting and walking into people. Which makes them look unaware and rude. These texting kids were also texting the fool next to them, which is just plain stupid. If she thinks I am going to be complicit with her being a moron, she can guess again. When she gets a phone I can guarantee if I see her being this ridiculous, I will take it and turn off the service. I am not sure what is wrong with the parents that let their kids look foolish, maybe they were updating their Facebook statuses*. Something like this, "My kid is texting the person they are walking next to...lol...I am raising an idiot".
Point two, the make-up issue. My daughter has mile long eyelashes, that are also thick, and dark. I am not sure what these beauties would look like with mascara on them, but I am betting she will poke someone else's eye out with them. I am not blessed with lovely lashes, thus I do goop on some mascara and I have since about 8th grade. The surprise with this complaint was I have never heard her mention she wanted to wear make-up prior to last night. Honestly, I am not sure where I am standing on this issue. She looks lovely so I see no point for it, but maybe we can broker a deal by the beginning of 7th grade. I really do not want her putting her friends make-up on in the bathroom at school (we all know that is the alternative).
So time is flying by, throwing mobile phones and make-up tubes at me, waking me from my fantasy that my daughter will always be a little girl. She is really a smart, wonderful, young lady and blessing. Time is handing me a new phase in parenting. It is not that she needs me less, just in new ways. Now I need to up my game and become the parent of an adolescent...wish me luck.
*(Full Disclosure: I have a Facebook account, I regularly update my status. I do not do it mobile (ever) and I rarely, if ever use "lol". That was also a joke and in no way am I disparaging those who mobile update, or use "lol")
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
- Life is too short to not laugh everyday
- Life is too short to not make yourself a priority
- Life is too short to spend time on activities that make you miserable
- Life is too short to create drama that is not an original screenplay or a novel
- Life is too short to put off saying "I love you" to those who matter
- Life is too short to worry about what everyone else thinks
- Life is too short to not share your faith, your passions, and your vision
- Life is too short to not take a vacation from your problems
- Life is too short to keep score
Those are just a few off the top of my head and the bottom of my heart. Happy Valentine's Day! You are your own best sweetheart, the others are just lucky candy hearts.
Monday, January 31, 2011
I get why people in the south get freaked by a snow storm. It would be confusing and hard to deal with if snow was not part of the normal winter routine. No shovels, no snow pants, no cupboard full of cocoa, no winter driving skills, all of those things would make for a bad, snowy times. However, we are Midwesterners. We are tough. We can get on with life, no matter what. So let us quit worrying and whining like babies. Whether it snows 6" or 16" it will be fine. We will take up our shovels, or fire up the snow blower and deal with it. In out own quiet and stoic Midwestern way. Remember, there is no whining in snow removal!!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
I read this quote the other day, and I liked it so much I posted it as my Facebook status. If the amount of "likes" the quote received means anything, I think many others agree with Teddy's witty truism. Why is it we are often our own worst enemy? When does this start in life? And more importantly, when does this end? If I knew the answer to second question, well, my troubles would be over and I would fill you in as well. I am just that swell of a gal. Judging from watching my own kids, and using them as a general pattern for myself and others, I would say we start causing our own troubles about the same time we start rolling. That is right, when we start rolling. How many times do babies roll themselves under the couch or other piece of large furniture? Countless. How many times does that rolling baby just start fussing until someone comes and rescues them from their plight? Also countless. At some point the baby starts to figure out that she can roll in the other direction and get "unstuck". It takes a lot of getting stuck under furniture before the baby figures out a way to free herself.
The best I can figure we keep rolling through this life getting stuck under couches (okay, these are figurative couches) and sometimes it takes a long time to learn we need to roll in the other direction to free ourselves. Some people will stay trapped under their couch and plead and cry and cast blame for a long time before they find out they can solve their own problems. Some people never find out they can solve their own problems. These people are the saddest of all. Constantly looking to others for the solution and the rescue from all the couches in life. Certainly I am not advocating not asking for help, or seeking solid advice for many of life's major "couches". There is a special strength is knowing you need help beyond yourself. I am more focusing on the person who is overwhelmed by the minor things in life, makes mountains out of mole hills, and generally is the adult baby that can not roll the other way. In short, make trouble for themselves and then place the blame squarely everywhere else. I would like to fix these people, but I can not, so I try to avoid adult babies.
This leads to the question when does this "causing trouble for ourselves" end? My guess is probably at death. Life is just filled with troublesome situations, many of our own making. Perhaps there are a few people that are so highly evolved that life's problems do not bog them down. I do not know these people, but I bet they are not that much fun to talk to at a cocktail party. Most of us are stilled troubled by troubles, and just need to keep rolling, wiggling, squirming, to get out from under the couch. There is nothing wrong with having a life with troubles, as long as you realize that YOU are the cause of, and the solution to, most of the trouble in your life. Just keep rolling and don't forget to roll the other way when you get stuck.
Friday, January 21, 2011
- Please do not be jealous when I tell you my alarm clock this morning was the sound of a dog vomiting. Seriously. First of all I am not stranger to the sound of horking animals, I have a cat. The dog is bigger, thus the sound is louder and the clean-up is larger. The dog has never vomited before, so I was pretty concerned about her health. After letting her out for "potty business", I was petting her and looking her over. Making sure she seemed okay. Then she bolted over to to her food dish. You see, the Greyhound does not do a casual doggy walk, she bolts around. After staring at her dish, then looking at me, then staring at the dish, then back at me (repeat about seven times), I realized she was fine. You can not keep that dog from her food. Happily I report she is fine. Sleeping comfortably, as is her normal daily routine.
- It is freakishly, awfully, wretchedly, miserably cold today. I have no use for temperatures in single digits, and even less use for negative zero temperatures. Sure, the snow is pretty, but lets keep it in the 20's so the snow can stay, but humans can walk around outside without having fingers, ears, or other body parts freezing off.
- I am coaching a reading team. Yes, a reading team. It is for The Battle of the Books at my daughter's school. I love to read. I have several books that I need to read that were Christmas and birthday gifts. I am excited about these books, but I can not read them now because I am kid literature. Now I really like kid literature. I have read the Harry Potter series, the Twilight "saga", and several other kid selections. However, now as a reading coach I need to know these kid books pretty well so I can quiz my team. So each night I look at my stack of grown up books longingly, and then pick up yet another kid book. I even read kids books when I am in waiting rooms at the dentist, orthodontist, and even at the hair salon. People ask, "What are you reading?". And lucky me, I get to recommend books for kids.
- Now for the public service announcement section of this post. Shingles is not just a disease for the over 50 population. That is an announcement for medical professionals as well. I, most unfortunately, spent the month of December with shingles, that was misdiagnosed, because I am "too young for that" (actual quote from my doctor). More painful than childbirth is how I rate it on the pain scale. The fun part is that it only effects one side of the body. So my left side felt horribly ravaged by nerve pain, while my right side was perfectly normal. It is almost funny now. That statement just proves that I am either very resilient or stone cold crazy. I am going with resilient.
- Award season makes me feel like I need to get out more. The Golden Globes and the Oscars make me realize I do not go to the movies enough. Actually, it makes me realize that when I do go to the movies I do not see "award worthy" cinema. Sure I may see something that could win in the animation category, but I can almost guarantee that I have not seen anything that is up for "the best picture" award. Sometimes, after the nominees are announced I may Netflix an "award worthy" film. Maybe, one or two, but generally I have no clue what most of the nominated films are about (and I do not care that much). Sadly, my favorite part of any award show is the "Best and Worst Dressed" recap that comes out the day after the event. Sometimes I wonder if some of the "stars" own mirrors, and sometimes hairbrushes (Helena Bonham-Carter).
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
This realization that my diet needs to improve has led to a major break up in my life. The ending of a long and tumultuous relationship. I decided back in November that sugar was my Achilles heal, so I needed to dump it. However, deciding to breakup with sugar during the holidays seemed cruel. So sugar and I continued to see each other. I was becoming distant, a bit detached. I am sure sugar had an idea that this was going to happen, but perhaps sugar was in denial about how rocky our relationship had become. Sugar would show up at a lot of the places I frequented, parties, treat bags, coffee shops. I started giving sugar the cold shoulder more often, sure we had some "hook ups", a girl has needs. However, as of January 2nd sugar and Allie have broken up. No late night calls, no afternoon quickies, no sugar for me. I know that it won't be easy. Sugar is sweet and hangs out with out some of my closest friends, dark chocolate and red wine. However, I am going to have to let sugar have those friends in the break up. Isn't that how most break ups go, you have to split the friends. So I get fruit, and sugar gets dark chocolate & red wine. I am sure we can keep the split amicable. And thank goodness I take my coffee black.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Anyway, another year older and standing at the beginning of the new year, I wish you all good health, happiness, and wisdom in 2011.