Friday, May 6, 2011

Ex-People Pleaser

Hello, my name is Allison and I am a neglectful blogger. Sorry. However, apologies aside, I have had a breakthrough. Yes, a breakthrough, like people have in therapy, except I am not in therapy, this came through my own personal evolution and frustration. So here it is, I don't care. Yes, I realized through a series of recent events that I no longer really care what others think of me.

She does not care?
How heartless!!!

Now to clarify my new, "I do not care" attitude. This does not apply to my family, and close friends. I will always care what those closest to me think about me. I love them and they matter. I also love myself enough to not let "others" opinions effect me any longer. This attitude applies to the "others". I no longer care if my children's' friend's mother thinks I am lovely or a complete witch. I know who I am. I am good mother, and decent person. So I do not need to conform to any standards set by others. The best part of my new mindset is no longer having to tolerate annoying situations. Prime example, carpools with kids that are obnoxious. If the parent is able to drive their child somewhere and is only asking me to drive so they can get out of driving, I am saying "No, we will see you there". I am not heartless, I will drive if it is schedule issue or car trouble, but just so "we can all go together", forget it. I do not have to deal with banal conversation while someones kid tears up my vehicle (and the parent ignores the behavior). Not happening anymore. My kids are well behaved, and properly threatened with consequences for poor behavior, before they enter another persons home or car, so they always are respectful. If others are not going to teach their offspring to act civil or face consequences, that is their problem. I do not care, I am not dealing with it. Bottom line, I am done being a "people pleaser", because it is unpleasing to me.

I know my new outlook is not going to be well received by many, luckily I don't care. Those nearest and dearest to me know that this was inevitable. I have said, "yes" and agreed to some pretty unbearable situations for too long. I was bound to either break or put my foot down. Now the foot is down. People pleasing is something unique to women. I have not often run into a man that is overly concerned about what the peripheral people in their lives think about them. Good job men, I am proud of you for not caring. Not that you care what I think. Likewise, I don't care that you don't care. See? This is fun already.

Happy Mother's Day!