Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Word, It's Wednesday

Today I may be giving you a completely made up word. It is on that gets used in our home, but I am pretty sure it is not real, but it is real fun. I looked in the luck. I did not invent this word, maybe my daughter did or my perhaps my son. Anyway, I use it and I like it. If you want to make new words, please do. It is fun.

kerplopsy- (ker-PLOP-see) adv. and adj. Behaving in a floppy, slightly disoriented manner. (noun) Also the physical state of health when one is disinterested in going to school, but not the pediatrician.

Mom, I told him to pick up all the toys and he got kerplopsy, and now he is hiding under the couch!

I can not make it to school today. I have kerplopsy. I need some orange juice.
Note: The spellcheck does not recognize "kerplopsy", nor does the medical community.

Monday, September 27, 2010


This past weekend was my sister Betsy's wedding. She married her longtime beau, Chris. I was honored to be the officiant. It was amazing. I practiced the ceremony so many times. I had it down, it flowed. I thought, I can deliver this in a professional manner. I only wrote my "reflections" about the couple a few days prior to the ceremony, because I kept changing what I wanted to include. I could have stood up and talked for hours about how special Betsy is to me and how much Chris is an awesome addition to our family. Good thing I finally found some brief words, because I had tears streaming down my face the whole time. You can not imagine how hard it is to read when your eyes keep tearing up. I am also glad I wrote it all down, because I may have become a blathering fool if I just the "the moment" move my words. Not really very professional, but very heartfelt...and I am okay with that, and hopefully the 100-some guests were too.

If I never do another wedding, that is okay with me because this one was so special and meaningful. However, if I do officiate more weddings, I am pretty sure any others will be easier and my nervousness will be less (I always get a bit nervous in front of crowds). Betsy and Chris have been together for 11 years. Some might wonder why were they not married long ago? I know sometimes I wondered that too. The thing with those two is they are committed to each other and whether married or not they will be together. The way my brother-in-law (that is fun to write) looks at my sister says it all. He adores her, and she adores him. The "look" has been in Chris's eyes for years, ever since I was introduced to him. He knows she is a special lady. Together they are superstars. Their nephews and nieces think they are the "funnest people in the world". Their friends contributed to the the wedding toast about how caring, fun, and supportive they are as individuals and as a couple. I wish them both so much happiness and joy for the rest of their lives. I love you Betsy & Chris. (and I would not mind a niece or nephew either)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Word, It's Wednesday

Yes, I am back with a word. Sorry. I blame the month of September for my skimpy amount of posts. Soon I shall have tamed the beast that is the 2010-11 school year. God willing.
jejune- (jih-JUNE) adjective. Thoughts and actions that are not well thought out or fully formed; a poor performance or inferior work
My jejune quilt making left with me with scraps of fabric, bloodied fingers, and a profound dislike of fabric arts.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Stinky Situation

This year I have changed up some of my professional volunteering jobs. I have stepped back in some areas and added some new interests. That is the beauty of being a professional volunteer. You make your job. I tend to set a one year commitment, minimum. I do this so I have discipline and structure. Volunteering is unpaid, and flexible, but highly valued by the organizations that depend on reliable volunteers to get projects done. Schools are one place that really rely consistent and dedicated volunteers. I have kids in two different schools (because of the 5 year age gap). I try to give equal time to both schools, because I do not need one kid saying I prefer one over the other. Maybe I do, but that changes from day to day. I recall, as a child, saying to my mother, "You like Adam and Betsy better than me!". This was her reply: "No. I dislike you all, equally, right now". That is some solid parenting I received, and look how I turned out. I love my mom, she is a tell it like is lady and she does it with a smile.

Anyway, back to my latest volunteering issue. I am volunteering in the library at my oldest child's school for a few hours in the afternoon each week. Last Thursday was my first day in the library. I love books, reading, and libraries so I thought this was a great opportunity for me. Here is what I did not bargain for, BO. That is right "body odor". My eldest is in 6th grade, and has excellent hygiene because of solid parenting (a.k.a. nagging) and the invention of deodorant. Unfortunately, not every 6th grader is blessed to have a parent so dedicated to good hygiene. I am aware that these kids are at an awkward age in life. I would not go through puberty again for a million dollars. It is freaky. Your body betrays you in so many ways; hairs grow in odd places, skin breakouts, boobs, growth spurts, and body odor. Yes, growing up stinks. Literally, if you do not bathe often and apply deodorant. Fully understanding what these wonderful kids are going through, I know I should be sensitive. However, all I can think about is; how can I get these kids to not wreak? I have a very low tolerance for stink. In fact, at one point during my library time, I went to restroom to make sure I was not stinky (I was not). I have a paranoia about smelling bad, and also about wearing too much perfume. I like to smell neutral, a good pleasant neutral smell. That is what I want for these 6th graders, a nice neutral smell. How I can accomplish this is my new mission. Yes, I want them to enjoy library time, and I want to suggest good books for them, and somehow by the end of the school year I want them all to not smell bad. Is that a vain project? Perhaps. Will it make the world a better place? Probably not. Will it increase my joy in volunteering? Absolutely.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Sorry about no words on Wednesday for two weeks now. Back to school is kicking my rear. I need to find a rhythm, lose my "to do" list, and get back to writing! I write this as I am eating a quick lunch before my volunteer session at the older one's school. Time management is not my strong point. September is my least favorite month because it points out this flaw...repeatedly. I hope to wrangle all the activities and commitments into a sensible schedule. This year my writing is going to get slotted as well, or it won't happen. I have proven that already. So put yourself on your list, calendar, or whatever method you use to make sense of time. Whatever it is that you are passionate about, pencil, NO PEN, it in so you can step back from the frantic pace and have some "you time". I know you deserve it and we are all better people when we nuture ourselves.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Thing About Monday...

It is not so much that I hate Monday. Really it is the Sunday Night Blues that make Monday seem so awful. Sunday, around 7 pm I get a melancholy feeling. Never can I place a particular cause to my melancholy, but it has always been there, since the beginning of time. I will add the the "beginning of time" for me was circa 1978, when I started kindergarten. I always liked school as a child. I have pretty much always been more of a morning person, than a night owl. So really there has never been a legitimate cause for my Sunday night sulk. However, just like the "Fridays are awesome" mentality, "Mondays are for s**t" is indoctrinated into our systems. It is as if society wants us to set aside one day of the week to be crabby and disgruntled, yet get a free pass for our grumpiness. Poor Monday. So we prepare for wretched Monday, by getting the Sunday Night Blues. Instead of enjoying our families, 60 Minutes, Ice Road Truckers, or the football game, we sit and sulk because tomorrow we have to go to work, go to school, or get back to whatever we abandon Friday at 5 pm. The funny thing is even when Monday is a holiday (like it was a week ago for Labor Day), I still get the Sunday Night Blues. Perhaps scientists should conduct a research study of this phenomenon. I will certainly volunteer my head for their brain mapping electrodes. Well, I will volunteer my head as long as I do not have to cut my hair. Perhaps until a definitive scientific study is completed, the results confirmed, and a Nobel Peace Prize given to the amazing minds that have solved the Sunday Nights Blues / Monday Morning Blows problem, can we put to rest the maligning of Monday. Until then, complain away, drink more coffee, enjoy your free pass to be grumpy, and pray for a cure...for Monday.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fine Line Friday

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid." Nigel, from This Is Spinal Tap
This movie line is one of my favorites, because it is so true. This Is Spinal Tap is a great movie, not Oscar worthy, but a fun film to check out if you love music and laughter (and who does not?). Anyway, there is loads of truth in the statement above. In truth, a fine line is what separates many things in life. The fine line is what makes or breaks an experience. Last night while I was laying in bed, listening to my sinuses fill, I thought of some "fine line" situations. Here is a short list...
  • There is a fine line between appropriate information and too much information. Case and point, my sinus filling comment. That was gross and too much information. The person that says, "I was sick over the weekend", and the person that says, "I had diarrhea all weekend". Both statements are brief, convey an illness, and an assumed bad weekend, but only one makes the listener want to run for the hills.
  • There is a fine line between hot coffee and "just right" temperature coffee. First, lets establish that I take my coffee black, so no cold liquids hit my coffee. The first sip of black coffee from home or from a coffee shop is always tongue scorching hot. Which is how coffee gets properly brewed, thus necessary. So coffee must sit for a proper amount of time to reach its "just right" temperature. Unfortunately, this "just right" temp can easily be missed if one gets a phone call, a needy child, or any variety of interruption. If I had a nickle for every cold cup of coffee I have consumed, I would be a millionaire.
  • There is a fine line between being a cat lover and a crazy cat person. The difference here is one cat. Cat lovers can have up to two cats. The third cat puts you in the crazy cat person category. This is especially apparent if you are a single woman, thus making you the crazy cat lady. This is a fine line because cats are small, and most households could hold several cats. It would be fairly easy to take in every stray cat that shows up. However, my belief (and fear) that I could become a crazy cat person keeps the feline population here to only one.

So there are a few fine line situations. I will keep looking for them and periodically posting them. Have a great weekend.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Here is a quickie about only good things...
  • School (finally) started today.
  • All parties are pleased with the teacher placements.
  • No one complained that I forgot to pack a snack today.
  • Everyone is going to school ALL DAY tomorrow.
  • The after school activity calendar has not given me heart palpitations this year (yet).
  • I can share shoes with my daughter.

So that is it, all good stuff. I said it would be a quickie...hope it was good for you too.

Happy New School Year!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

No...I'm Not Joking

The burden of being a person with a quick wit and a cute comeback for pretty much everything is that no one takes you all that seriously. Somehow everything "the witty one" says is a joke or a punchline. Well, on occasion "the witty one" is serious. Okay, truth be told I am almost always serious, I just know how to phrase things so others will laugh. Its called diffusing the situation with humor, and I am a real hoot at funerals. As I was saying, being witty is a burden. I am currently in the midst of writing the wedding ceremony for my beloved sister, Betsy, and her wonderful husband-to-be Chris. I was honored when they asked me to officiate their marriage. I am a strong believer in the institution of marriage, even though I am pretty unconventional in many ways, I embrace marriage and hold it very dear. In order to officiate I had to become an ordained minister. I am pretty busy with the kids, house, the husband, and professional volunteering (my inability to say "no" keeps me going). Fitting in a trip to a seminary to become an ordained minister was not going to happen. I turned to the next best option, The Universal Life Church, on the Internet. Yes, one cold January night I sat down and got myself ordained. It was a pretty simple process. I had no idea that it was one of the funniest things I had ever done. It seems almost everyone that hears I am an ordained minster laughs. This group includes the pastors at my own church, my friends' spouses, my financial advisor, my son's teacher, and a few grocery store clerks. Yes, I have a wallet card with my credentials that I gladly show to people to prove I am a minister. No, I do not plan to start my own church, I like the church I attend just fine. My becoming a minister was out of love for my sister and not wanting some stranger to perform her wedding ceremony. Perhaps if I possessed a more reserved manner and was soft spoken, people would not feel like everything I do is a joke. Honestly, 95.8% of my daily life is void of humor. Which is why I try to see the humor in everything. There are far more unlikely candidates for ministry. Being a practicing Lutheran, a volunteer at my church, a member of a Bible Study group, and an occasional deliverer of the Children's Sermon makes me seem pretty qualified to be a minister. No, I do possess volumes of knowledge about theology. No, I can not names the books of the Bible in order. However, just because I am "the witty one" does not mean I am the irreverent one too. Well, sometimes I am irreverent, but that is because I am painfully honest and direct. So I declare, I am a minister, and NO, it is not a joke. I will not be doing a 15 minute monologue at the wedding ceremony, even if you beg. The reception, however, is another story altogether.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Word...It's Wenesday

Today's word is one that I can not personally identify with, but it does describe a few of my very close loved ones.

laconic- (luh-KON-ik) adjective. Being a person of few words; expressing oneself with an economy of words.

Nick may be laconic, but what he does say is generally delivered in clever and witty manner.
***I have tried to be laconic. It just does not work for me.