We are all back to school here. My daughter started high school. My son is in fourth grade. I am enrolled in online traffic school. You know a typical day in the life of a smooth criminal. I did not choose the life, it chose me. Actually, I am not sure that being a chronic lead foot makes me an actual criminal. It certainly makes me a scofflaw. It also make me a poor example for my kids who now monitor my speed as if I just learned to drive yesterday. Perhaps if my parents had corrected my "speedy queen" tendencies from an early age I would not be a 40 year woman enrolled in online traffic school to keep the points from being reported. No, I am not going blame my parents, but my dad would say things like, "Give her some gas, we don't have all day" (Technically, we probably did have all day. We lived a rather bucolic little town where not much happened. Clearly, a breeding ground for young speed demons.). He would also encourage passing the elderly in their long, slow sedans, once again because we did not have all day (and it turns out we did). Okay, so I am going to blame my dad a little for my need for speed. However, he does not read this, or even go on computers. (Very funny aside, relating to nothing other than poking fun at my dad. My daughter sent him a text, and he thought it broke his phone because he could not get the words off the screen for 5 minutes.) And to be completely contrary to societal norms, I do not blame my mother at all for my descent into a life of civil infractions. Sorry Mom, like I said earlier, the life chose me!
Back Story: Rule 4 in Action
Rule 4 for Being Human is "The lesson is repeated until learned". (If you are not familiar with The Rules of Being Human click here). Anyway, back in August my daughter needed to get to a clarinet sectional practice. I am obsessed with being on time. In fact, if I am not 5 minutes early...I feel late. Yes, it is a bit OCD (I own that). Anyway, in my quest for her to be on time, which my OCD said needed to be five minutes early, I was driving too fast through a known speed trap. POP. Ticket. Online Traffic School. How did I know it was speed trap? I was pulled over in the same place several years ago. I also see people pulled over there all the time (It is the road I travel to get to my daughter's school and my local Target). So I knew better. My beloved pointed out all of these things to me. I know, but I did not choose the fast life, the fast life chose me! And the universe was going keep teaching me about speeding until I learned.
The worst part was not getting a ticket. I deserved it. This was not my most deserving act of speeding...I have gone much faster. No, the worst part was after I finally dropped my daughter off (seven minutes late), my son said, "You were not going as fast as could have been going".
At that point he truly believed some great injustice had been done to his mom. He did not see me as deserving of a traffic citation. He did not want me punished. He even said. "You are a good fast driver".
Thank you son, I am a good fast driver. And I am still in the wrong. Worse than that, I am a bad role model . Rules are rules. Rules have consequences. In the past I have written letters to get out of tickets, or had them changed to a non-moving violation. Basically, weaseling out of what I actually did wrong. I knew this time I needed to accept what I did. I have accepted the actual consequences for my crime. I paid the fine, and now I am taking a class to learn why my "good fast driving" is not as good as I believed.
My son went with me to the courthouse to pay my ticket. He asked me if I was mad at the police now. (after randomly recalling a song from my youth by the gangster rap group NWA...which is entirely inappropriate) I told him I was the one that messed up, the policeman was just doing his job. It was in the parking lot of the courthouse that my son said he would make sure I never "speeded" again. Now I have a 9 year old parole officer. I report to him daily, and do his laundry.
Online Traffic School
This time I may actually learn that speeding is wrong, because paying the money was easy, but taking an online class is a mild form of torture. The course is a mandatory four hours. It has sections that you read, and then answer 10 questions. No big deal. However, it is all timed. If your read the section in 10 minutes, and the program allotted 30 minutes for that section, you have to go back and review the reading (or file your nails) for 20 more minutes until the questions pop up. It also has these alarming yellow flashing boxes that pop up randomly with questions you need to answer within 10 seconds to prove you are indeed in front of your computer and not taking a shower, vacuuming, or doing much of anything else. It turns out this fast driver is also a fast reader. I could have opted to take an actual class in a classroom that lasted 4 hours. I am pretty sure that would have killed me, or at least killed my spirit. Online I can do a section, take a break, and go back. As long as I finish before October 24, and pass the test with 70% correct answers. Just so you know, my competitive nature will not let me get a 70%. I have thus far earned 100% on all of my modules. In a classroom setting it would have been fun to waive around a few 100% tests (that is the only upside of having actual classmates). I did not choose the nerd life either...(it chose me).
Reforming
Honestly, for the first time in all of my driving years, which is many. I am obeying speed limits. Not because I particularly think that they are right, but because it is a law. We live in a society that needs laws to keep good order. Now it is about being a good example for my kids. I want them to be be good drivers someday, and I am their primary example of driving, so I need to make it good and lawful. (Yes, my beloved drives them places, but not as much as I do) I want to be good role model.
Now back to my Traffic School Modules...
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