Five for Friday

Our Imaginary Dialog

Reader:  Jeepers! Allie, it has been an eternity since you wrote a Five for Friday. Has nothing random or ridiculous happened in months?  Have you read nothing decent?  Has the whole planet finally come around to your way of thinking?

Allie:  Oh dear one, random and ridiculous is like the water in the Great Lakes that surrounds this pleasant peninsula I inhabit.  It is plentiful and often infested with non-native creatures much like those crazy carp that jump out of the water, and zebra mussels that do whatever they do that is horrible and wrong.

Reader:  Huh, okay then...well, what sort of random ridiculousness have you encountered this week?  (fervently hoping for no more obscure, slightly environmental, but completely baffling references)

Allie:  Wow, thanks for asking, my intelligent and kind reader.  It is so compassionate of you to be concerned with the important and pressing issues in Allieville (population 1, but the visitor center is very busy and their are three squatters in the mayoral mansion)

Reader:  So you have some witty, mildly entertaining musings to share????

Me:  You know I do. You know, I do.

1. The Two Day Heat Wave.  Tuesday and Wednesday were unseasonably hot this week. I had pity upon the school kids.  The self-pity came into play when I had to attend an Open House at the elementary school.  It was hotter than Hades and three times as humid (I hear Hades enjoys a dry heat, much like Death Valley, and  your oven)  The A/C had been turned off  in the hope of using no climate control in the house until mid-October.  I pondered making my family tough it out.  Then folded like a wet paper bag before noon on Tuesday.  The thought of my family coming home, complaining about the heat was too much for me.  These people are getting to me, making soft.  At this rate they may coax me into turning on the heat before October 15th.
2. Word Mashers.  The English language is in peril.  Every year some really sketchy words push their way into the dictionary by popular force.  Words that are like nails on a chalkboard to this lover of words.  In 2012, "sexting", made the dictionary.  (thanks Anthony Wiener, thanks a lot)  The word "earworm" made the dictionary as well.  I happen to fully endorse "earworm", I was actually surprised that it was not already in the dictionary.  My fear is the mashed up words like "amirite" (am I right), and "inorite" (I know, right) will be wholly embraced.  These are horrid phrase/questions already, but to then mash them into one word that ends with up vocal inflection trying to imply a fully formed question makes me crazy.  First of all, no you are not right, and I am pretty sure you know very little when you use these phrase/question atrocities.  A piece of my soul dies every time I hear these abominable language thugs.  I cry for our future if either of these monsters make the dictionary cut.
3. Orange is the New Black (the book).  I recently downloaded this memoir of Piper Kerman's experience in a Federal womens prison.  It is a good read.  She writes very honestly about what landed her in prison, and what it was like for her being locked up for 13 months.  It is cautionary tale for those who make questionable choices in this time of mandatory minimum prison sentences for first time offenders.  Check it out.
4. Orange is the New Black  (TV show).  Netflix has made an original series loosely based upon Piper Kerman's memoir.  Piper is involved in the series production, she is listed in the credits in some capacity..  The series is very entertaining.  It is also rather graphic, not suitable for kids or even teen viewing.  I mean that.  I am no prude, but this is completely adult content.  The book is suitable for teens if they are interested.  The storytelling is very engaging, and you may find yourself sucked into several episodes back to back.  It okay, it's Netflix.  Netflix is all about binge TV watching.
5. Sad, but True.  A few weeks ago my son confronted me in the kitchen about Santa.  My sweet and logical LEGO loving boy stated that he has come to the conclusion that Santa Claus is indeed not real.  Ouch.  He is nine.  He gave a very reasoned argument.  He then chastised me for being a liar.  I informed him that his dad was in on it too.  He then said he is a liar too.  (Which is great because I do not like taking the heat alone.  I will throw people under the bus, even my beloved husband)  Then he promised to play along for his sister's sake.  What???  His sister is 14.  She has never told me where she stands on Santa.  She is the best older sister ever.  She wrote letters to Santa all through middle school.  I know she knows, but she would never say because she would not want to upset her little brother.  I am a little sad.  I will probably still put some stuff under the tree from "Santa" for the next few years.  Now I am wondering if I need to tell my daughter that the little guy has it all figured out?  Maybe someone will e-mail her a copy of this blog.  I do not think she reads me.  Not enough pictures, poor spelling, and LOLing here.

That is all I have for this week my sweet reader. Enjoy your weekend!

Totally random aside.  In my first draft of this entry  in the dialog I had labeled the Reader as "you" and Allie as "me"...then realized it was odd for you to consider yourself as "you" when you are a "me" to yourself.  Pronouns can be your friend and enemy at the same time.