Anger is a secondary emotion. Any therapist worth their weight is salt will tell you anger is a result of frustration, sadness, helplessness, or hopelessness. They may add more primary emotions that cause people to act out in an angry way. I have only been a student in a few psychology and sociology classes, not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, I give solicited and unsolicited mental health evaluations of people...all the time. It is what I do, and no one stops me. I also offer the disclaimer that my opinions are not, and should never be taken as, actual medical advise. I am all for people going to get some counseling, some people need lots of it. I have a mental list of people I have encountered that should probably NEVER leave counseling. They need to be in the care of a doctor or licensed therapist forever...and maybe a day after that too. My first clue that someone needs to get some help is usually their inappropriate and misplaced anger. The person that is always sniping at their significant other . Yelling at their kids. Getting rude with customer service people (This is the worst. Imagine becoming so sick with your anger problems that you will take it out on strangers?) Hideous. Generally, those people that are walking about with the misplaced belief that the world is against them and they are mega pissed off out it.
News Flash: The world is neither for, or against, anyone. I can not solve anger issues. I can give no suggestions that make an angry person less angry. In fact, trying to convince an angry person that they need help, or they need to focus on what is good in life, really only refocuses the anger. (mostly on the person that just suggested they had anger problems) I do not like being the target of refocused anger.
It is frustrating seeing so much anger in the general population, especially angry children (yes, there are angry children. It is sad and separate issue). Yes, we all need to blow off steam and vent frustration. That is normal. Finding a safe and healthy way to do that is important. Sure going out with friends and having some drinks can help, but it could also set up using substances to cover problems. I do like a good night out, but this is a "use sparingly" solution. I personally enjoy writing my rants down, sometimes I even publish the rants (if it is funny or universally helpful it is generally worth airing my dirty laundry). Writing helps lay out exactly what bothers me, literally in black and white). Sometimes it becomes clear that whatever is bothering me is just ridiculous, which is fine, because then I know and I get over it. Often it helps me profile a situation that I need to either get out of or redefine how I am going to deal with the situation going forward. Yes, this is my personal anger management style. Anger happens, but you can not let it consume you, then you become wicked.
(the bad kind, the green faced, flying monkey kind of wicked) Some people use other hobbies to get their minds off angry thoughts and feelings. Some people exercise to sweat out the negativity. At times I find this helpful, and the sore muscles give me a sense that I really worked something out.
There are many ways to reduce or eliminate anger. The best advice ever given to me is from my mother,
THIS TOO SHALL PASS. No, she is not the first person to have ever said those words, but she said them often to me when I was young. Guess what? 100% of the time this is true. There is no sense in being an angry jerk. It helps nothing, solves nothing, and likely cause more issues. It will all pass. Life has a funny way of resolving itself. Give up the anger. Live. Love. Laugh.
(This post is pretty much proof that
most all the time my writing surprises me. I really did mean to write a scathingly wicked post about angry jerks, yet somewhere in the process I heard my mom's voice in my head reminding me more of kindness. She is a gem. I need to write about her...she is a smart, kind and sassy woman. She also just totally squashed my Wicked Wednesday post. Mothers!!!)
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