Monday, January 14, 2013

Not Feeling It

Do you recall as a child your parents would ask you to do something, and you did not want to, but you did it only because you respected and /or feared your parents?  Sometimes I feel like I need my parents to come and harp at me again.  Sometimes I am just not feeling it, and really do not want to do stuff.  Today, it was planning a meeting for Cub Scouts.  Just not feeling much like hanging out with a bunch or 8 and 9 year old boys.  Being completely  honest, I leave most den meetings rather exhausted and hugely grateful that my son does not act like a majority of his peers.  If he acted like his peers, I would have to consider adoption as his only way of making to adulthood.  I get the distinct feeling that some of these boys get a "not feeling it" pass from their parents, instead of the prodding and nagging until projects and chores are completed.  It is all the prodding and nagging from my childhood that have made me into the self-motivated person I am today.  Prodding and nagging gives a person internal discipline.  I push through the "not feeling it" feeling all the time.  No mom required. (I would love to see her more, but on a non-nagging basis).  Am I the only parent that still nags and prods their children to do things?  And if so, WHY???

Please do not get the idea that all I do is bark orders and directions at my kids.  I do not.  We are at a point that I can state a time, or an activity, and they know to complete getting ready for whatever is on the agenda.  We are a family of routine.  Expectations have been set, and generally these expectations are met.  Things happen in a very logical way, and this predictable pattern has given the whole family unit a disciplined routine.  No surprises at this house.  And, yes, we still have fun.  I am not Captain VonTrapp whistling patterns for my children to answer.  Rooms are still messy, and get cleaned.  We still scramble to find gloves, shoes, phones, and such.  There is no standard of perfection set for anyone.  However, we ALL know we have to do the crappy stuff...even if we are not feeling it.  Which is why I struggle when dealing with children who completely lack this drive, or even the spirit to be motivated by anything.  I just can not relate.  As a child I would never, ever, say "NO" to a request from an adult.  (Some may argue it is this same inability to say "no" that has me as a den leader...that is not the point, but admittedly I have "Yes" Syndrome).  No exaggeration, I get told "NO", by some of my scouts for simple requests like, "Please clean up your snack mess".  No kidding.  It does not sit well with me.  I give the "show respect for yourself, by showing respect for others" lecture at least two times per meeting, minimum.  It is a lovely speech, but hearing that message every other week may not be enough to build the good character necessary to become a good human being.  It is scary that many parents still dismiss there child's rude behavior as "boys being boys".  No, it is rude being rude.  "Not feeling it" is not acceptable for me and it is not acceptable for my kids.  As a scout leader, I take it as my responsibility to model and instill showing respect.  So, despite my NOT FEELING IT (at all), I have planned a fun meeting full of activities.  Maybe this meeting will be "respect lecture" free...a girl can dream.     

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