Hotter than...

Hot and I are not friends. I do not care if its a dry heat or a humid heat...its all hot and it stinks. What I do like about hot is all the Hotter than _______ phrases and other heat related sayings. My favorite is the not so original, hotter than Hades, I just like it, always have.

• My absolute least favorite is the old man in the grocery store parking lot saying, "Hot enough fer ya?". How do you answer that? When it is scorching hot I really do not want to make quippy weather talk with the elderly gentlemen of the world? No, I do not, and yes, it IS hot enough for me. The sweat river flowing down my back should indicate that I am sufficiently hot (and not in a good way). Shouldn't old people be inside on hot days? Isn't it a health hazard for the very young and the very old to be out in extreme temperatures? Hot weather also makes me so crabby that my wrath can turn on kindly old people.

• Back to funny hot phraseology. Hot enough to fry an egg on a sidewalk. That one is good because at least once a year some TV weatherperson will try it on television. Even a non-scientist knows that generally to fry (not slowly cook) an egg the pan needs to be around 300 degrees. I am pretty sure the sidewalk does not get to 300 degrees...even on a super hot day. But that is just good fun.

• The most annoying phrase is, "Its not so much the heat, its the humidity that bothers me". I used this one for years until I realized it is both that bother me. Anyone that still believes that the humidity is the issue needs to stick their head in a hot oven. Ovens produce a dry heat, and its also miserable. Humidity does add a certain nasty twist to a hot day. The frizzy hair, the constant sweaty feeling, and the urge to do nothing but sit in front of a fan or AC unit; does not make for a productive day. A scorching dry heat does not seem like it would be a great motivator either. I can't say that I have a lot of experience with "dry heat" being a life long Michigan girl. Let us just put the heat and humidity into the same category- the yuck category.

So what is your favorite "hot" phrase, or least favorite? How about a quick prayer for a return to the upper 70's for the rest of the summer? Stay cool.