Not Feeling It

Do you recall as a child your parents would ask you to do something, and you did not want to, but you did it only because you respected and /or feared your parents?  Sometimes I feel like I need my parents to come and harp at me again.  Sometimes I am just not feeling it, and really do not want to do stuff.  Today, it was planning a meeting for Cub Scouts.  Just not feeling much like hanging out with a bunch or 8 and 9 year old boys.  Being completely  honest, I leave most den meetings rather exhausted and hugely grateful that my son does not act like a majority of his peers.  If he acted like his peers, I would have to consider adoption as his only way of making to adulthood.  I get the distinct feeling that some of these boys get a "not feeling it" pass from their parents, instead of the prodding and nagging until projects and chores are completed.  It is all the prodding and nagging from my childhood that have made me into the self-motivated person I am today.  Prodding and nagging gives a person internal discipline.  I push through the "not feeling it" feeling all the time.  No mom required. (I would love to see her more, but on a non-nagging basis).  Am I the only parent that still nags and prods their children to do things?  And if so, WHY???

Please do not get the idea that all I do is bark orders and directions at my kids.  I do not.  We are at a point that I can state a time, or an activity, and they know to complete getting ready for whatever is on the agenda.  We are a family of routine.  Expectations have been set, and generally these expectations are met.  Things happen in a very logical way, and this predictable pattern has given the whole family unit a disciplined routine.  No surprises at this house.  And, yes, we still have fun.  I am not Captain VonTrapp whistling patterns for my children to answer.  Rooms are still messy, and get cleaned.  We still scramble to find gloves, shoes, phones, and such.  There is no standard of perfection set for anyone.  However, we ALL know we have to do the crappy stuff...even if we are not feeling it.  Which is why I struggle when dealing with children who completely lack this drive, or even the spirit to be motivated by anything.  I just can not relate.  As a child I would never, ever, say "NO" to a request from an adult.  (Some may argue it is this same inability to say "no" that has me as a den leader...that is not the point, but admittedly I have "Yes" Syndrome).  No exaggeration, I get told "NO", by some of my scouts for simple requests like, "Please clean up your snack mess".  No kidding.  It does not sit well with me.  I give the "show respect for yourself, by showing respect for others" lecture at least two times per meeting, minimum.  It is a lovely speech, but hearing that message every other week may not be enough to build the good character necessary to become a good human being.  It is scary that many parents still dismiss there child's rude behavior as "boys being boys".  No, it is rude being rude.  "Not feeling it" is not acceptable for me and it is not acceptable for my kids.  As a scout leader, I take it as my responsibility to model and instill showing respect.  So, despite my NOT FEELING IT (at all), I have planned a fun meeting full of activities.  Maybe this meeting will be "respect lecture" free...a girl can dream.     

Five for Friday

It is Friday.  Which is not just an awesome movie (Ice Cube at his finest).  Thus I am hitting five random musings.  Granted yesterday's post was pretty random.  I was in pain.  Actually, in pain or not that is pretty much how my brain works...so special.  Letting my five fly in 3...2...

1. Boy Bands.  Love them or hate them, they are a part of our musical culture.  This morning I was diving and a local station was playing bands from "back in the day".  (Yes, I said, "back in the day".  I will flog myself later)  New Edition, Mr. Telephone Man, turned up to 11 (mega props if you can tell me the film I am referencing when I say "turned up to 11"), is a great way to start the day.  Then between songs the radio personalities were talking about some of the "great" boy bands; Bel Biv Devoe, New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, and of course N'Sync.  I was on a ride in the way back machine of questionable music.  I have soft spot for the Boy Band.  Yes, the music is over engineered, as is the back-story of band.  Nothing is organic about Boy Band music..but it is catchy.  Note to self: quit making fun of my daughter for her love of One Direction, they are not the next Beatles, but they will be fondly recalled in 20 to 25 years.
2. Bronzer in winter.  What can turn this girl's day from blah to banging?  Bronzer.  Yes, a slight bit of color and slight sparkle on the cheeks and nose is an attitude adjustment for me.  It is literally a cosmetic change that can make all the difference.  I can not change the temperature, or turn on the sun, but I can brush some healthy glow across my pasty white skin and make myself feel warm and glowing.  Long live the cosmetic counter!
3. Rain in January.  Unacceptable.  Snow is white, fluffy, clean, and bright.  When it rains in January in my part of the world it just reveals that the trees have no leaves, and the dormant sickly green of the grass.  Not to mention the muddy foot prints that get tracked in be Ninja.  It turns out dogs do not know the purpose of doormats.  Kid's can not play in the rain.  They do not want to build rain-men.  No, kids want snow.  I want snow.  If anyone has any connections that can get a respectable amount of snow to my part of the world, I would be grateful and maybe even write a post entirely about how awesome you are.  Hop to it.  Make it SNOW, baby.
4. U-turns.  Still happening.  Still making me nuts.  This might be at the top of my driving pet peeve list.  Yes, I have categorized my pet peeves because the one master list was getting a bit unwieldy.  Please...yes, I said PLEASE...stop making u-turns.  Find a business parking lot, a side street, or even someone's driveway to turn around in, and then go along your happy way.  OR, just quit being so darn confused or distracted when you drive and do it properly the in the first place.  (Stepping off the soap box...hopefully not falling)   
5. Book Recommendation.  The Day the World Came to Town : 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland, by Jim DeFede. I know you are thinking, "That sounds like a heavy topic, and winter is already depressing".  Well, yes, clearly 9/11 is not, and never will be a topic of great joy.  However, this is the story (or stories) of people who were on airplanes to the United States when the attacks occurred, and the airspace above the United States was closed.  This is what some of those travelers did when the worst happened.  It is a beautiful story of community and making the best of the worst.  Enough said.  Give it a try.  I have it on my kindle app. if I knew how to share or loan it, I would. (Still tech challenged, and not afraid to admit it)

Happy Weekend!
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Prone to Write

I am attempting something never done before.  I writing while laying on my couch.  I am also planning on publishing the post.  So this could be interesting.  Normally if I am laying down to write it is in my journal or a notebook.  It is typically on my stomach and my left arm gets all cramped up from the odd angle I lean on it.  Anyway, today I took a rather glorious, and embarrassing digger down the steps and my lower back feels like it may recover, but it is uninterested in sitting in an office chair at the computer...which is upstairs.  Yes, the same stairs that I took the express trip on an hour ago.  My hands were full, my feet are large, the stairs are narrow.  It was a perfect storm.  Now I am itching to write so I am grateful to my iPad that allows me to get on my blogger account.  The functions are not as easy as on the computer, not to mention laying on your back is not the most natural position to type.  I have pillows stacked upon me to get the screen at the right angle.  It is comical.  When one is prone to write, sometimes one must write while prone.

Today when I was walking with my dog, Ninja, I noticed that the squirrels were incredibly active.  Ninja fancies squirrels so it is easy to notice those furry little scamps.  Ninja believes in her sincere little doggy heart that it is her life's goal and purpose to catch, and kill or maim all squirrels that cross her path.  Unfortunately for Ninja, I am a bit squeamish when it comes to blood and guts, so my life's goal and purpose (at least when I am walking her) to hold her back from all small woodland creatures.  Thus most of walks, on very squirrelly days, end up with both of us frustrated with each other.  I am annoyed that I have had to tug the leash and say, "Ninja, leave it alone" a thousand times.  She is frustrated to have been on the receiving end of the tugging and crabbing...which I am sure all she hears is, "Ninja! blah ba wah blah".  We came back from the walk today and retreated to our separate corners.  Well, she went to take a nap, and she is a champion at sleeping.  This dog could sleep anywhere, anytime, and fall asleep in seconds.  It is amazing.  That was unnessisary information, but you will forgive me, as I am more prone to ramble when I am writing prone.  So I went to sort out some rubbish upstairs and then took my great fall, that landed me on the sofa.  Now a rambling post about squirrels...yikes.  I have not even looked to see if we have any pain meds in the house.  However, as I look at my rather stream of conscience type of writing I am doing, it seems like I am medicated.  I think it is just because laying down the thoughts come are more random.  It is as if my body posture is welcoming more trivial things.  Or maybe I just wanted to write something, and they can not all be well crafted, perfectly thought out musings.  Today, just musings. Very randomly laid out for you.

Be careful on the stairs or do not let the urge to clean overtake you in the first place.  I wish I would have gotten that memo from the future earlier...but isn't that just the way it goes?

Damn Near Survivalists...yeah whatever

This past weekend a bold move was made in my household.  Something that borders on sacrilegious in some circles.  Something so heinous we waited for our teenage daughter to be out of town for the weekend before we made our move.

We disconnected the cable.  Yup, if you come to our house you will be watching TV through the antennae.  High Def air signal.  Let me tell you, it is not as horrible as it sounds.  We get a lot of stations, the major networks, PBS, and some other riff raff stations.  Its going to be fine.  I think of it as being a survivalist right now, living off the entertainment that floats in the air around us.  Our daughter was appalled when she arrived home to a place void of any cable boxes.  She asked several times if we were joking.  She asked if we just hid the cable boxes as a joke. (As if we would move furniture and go to such trouble for a joke.  C'mon lazy apple, you came from these lazy trees).   She was genuinely shocked, which surprised me because we have talked of disconnecting cable for close to a year now.  That is how we roll, lots of discussion, so much chatter you become certain nothing will ever really happen, then BAM a decision is made and swift action is taken.  It is actually rather exciting when my beloved and I decide to take action.  Cue the A-Team theme music...a plan is coming together!

The decision to cancel cable was based on several factors, here are what I would say are the top five.  If you corner my beloved he will give you five absolutely different reasons.  This probably explains why swift action must be preceded by several months of debate.

1. Eldest child's poor TV choices.  My daughter, I love her, she is smart, lovely, and talented, but she has horrible taste in TV shows.  She loves really bad reality TV.  Dance Moms is a favorite.  She has been known to watch Toddlers in Tiaras marathons (yuck).  In fact almost anything shown on TLC can become her "favorite".  Worse than just watching these shows, she also would DVR the shows.  The amount of hours of stupidity recorded on the DVR was ridiculous.  To save her beautiful mind the cable had to go away.
2. My own poor TV choices.  I fully understand where my daughter gets her penchant for crappy TV.  I am a recovering Bravo TV junkie.  I will watch any season and any location of The Real Housewives franchise.  I love those rich bitches.  The arguments. The augmentations.  The botox.  The drama.  It is like crack.  Like a true addict, I would hide my passion and watching of these shows.  NEVER would I DVR an episode.  Nope, I found out that all the episodes were carefully saved for me in the OnDemand feature of our former cable carrier.  I loved that stuff.  I am going to miss it.  I am getting the shakes just thinking about it.  However, I am on the wagon.  I will miss you Andy Cohen and all the Bravolebrities.  I will miss you, deeply miss you.  (Note to local friends, DO NOT let me in your homes to covet your Bravo.  Give me some red wine and listen to to whine, but do not let me go back to that place...it is too much)
3. The 200 channels of background noise.  We found that we really did not actively watch too many shows.  Often the TV is on and each of us has some other device going.  My husband is on his computer or smartphone.  I am on my iPad.  The kids both have iPod touch devices.  So the TV was just background noise.  We have a few shows that we really watch and they are all on network TV.  Spending money for background noise seems silly.  (Note: My beloved and I would probably agree this is top shared reason)
4. Netflix and other streaming services.  Cable seems silly when you can get streaming feeds of programs you actually want to watch through gaming systems.  We just realized we can watch YouTube clips on the big screen of the TV through the PlayStation 3.  Which is awesome since one of our favorite things is to refer each other to crazy stuff we have seen on YouTube.  It becomes a shared activity with all of us contributing to the entertainment.  It is a modern day variety show where we are the producers and directors and captive audience.
5. Money.  I love it when people say, "It is not about the money", that is my clear indicator that is indeed, without a doubt, about the money.  Who does not like having extra money every month?  Fools, that is who.  Cable was a money drain, like a dripping faucet, or a drafty window.  It is not a life changing amount of money being saved, but it is a family night out per month amount.

So now we live a cable-less life.  We are damn near survivalists.  Okay we are nothing close to survivalists.  I know, any day now,  my daughter will forgive us.  Soon the glamorous lives of vapid, self-absorbed people will not be horribly missed.  My son was pretty nonchalant about the whole removal of cable.  He even helped move some furniture to unhook the boxes.  And of course, my beloved, is 100% behind the decision, so he will admit to missing nothing.  We shall see when baseball season rolls around.   I am not going to be so bold as to say we will never go back to cable.  We are not known for quick decisions, or for not changing our minds.   

Resolutions are for Chumps

The title says it all, resolutions are for chumps.  It has taken me many years to realize this particular fact.  I can be a little slow to catch on sometimes, but never with witty comeback.  I do plan on making some changes in 2013, tweaking my lifestyle, cleaning up, throwing out, eating less, moving more...all the good stuff.  However, I refuse to call any of it a "resolution" because as soon as I do it will become a point of rebellion.  Yes, I am even a petulant child with myself (I am sure this fact is of great comfort and humor to my parents).  No one likes to hear "no" or "you can not" or "you should not" or "you must" and the worst "it is good for you".  All of these things cause a rebellion in my soul.  I do not need my soul to rebel.  Along with the rebellion in the soul, is the fact that falling off the resolution wagon makes people stop making progress.  I say so what if you mess up, start over again.  In the past I have set dates for areas to be cleaned, pounds to be lost, and other goals, and when the goal was not achieved said, "Suck it. I am done", and then was completely annoyed and mad at myself.  Thus leaving a half cleaned out closet, and frustration.  No more big plan.  No more dates.  I am just doing.  I fully accept that I am going to make poor choices, slack off, and be human.  I am cool with that, and I will keep plugging away and making progress.

Perhaps mostly I am learning about being forgiving of myself.  Actually allowing myself to be human.  It is amazing how cruel we can be to ourselves.  How harshly we judge ourselves.  It sets us back when we beat ourselves up constantly over little things.  If  I was as cruel to others as I have been to myself I would not have a friend in the whole world, or a husband, or custody of my children.  I admit I have been a beast to myself.   My inner voice (and we all have one, do not call me crazy) has at times been a soul crusher.  Yes, I have crushed my own soul far more than any other person ever has, or ever could.  That is a rather sickening  realization.  However, I do not think I am unique in this self inflicted agony.  We are brutal to ourselves, too brutal.  Self-kindness is a relatively new concept for me, perhaps something that has evolved over the past five or six years.  And I am still rather imperfect at the whole self-kindness thing too, but I am not giving up on being nice to me.  My inner voice is far more kind than it ever was in my 20's, and let us not even talk about what a bitch my teen inner voice was (UGH!).  Resolutions just give my inner voice food for negativity.  Accomplishing things in real time, whether it is a blog post, or laundry, or a good book, or a long walk, or playing a game with my kids, is far more important, fulfilling, meaningful, and soul building than tasks checked off a time tabled chart.  Sure, goals are necessary at times, but not when they become internal weapons of soul destruction when the standards are not met.  Never give up on being nice to yourself...and if resolutions make you feel like a failure, remember, resolutions are for chumps, and you are no chump.

And, sincere apologies for not bringing the lighthearted funny today, sometimes a girl needs to be serious. It is okay to have feelings and feel those feelings...no matter what your therapist says.  And bonus, you learned I am human and not just a snark machine.        

Watch This!

On December 21st, 2012 the most amazing thing was discovered at my house.  Let me give you some back story before I get to my point. It is the build up that is where the story is...or so I tell myself.  December 21 was a Friday, it was suppose to be the end of the world, but it turns out the Mayans just ran out of circular tablets to chisel (my interpretation based on no fact what-so-ever) Anyway, this day was a busy one.  My son's Cub Scout Pack was having a holiday potluck dinner and I am not just a den leader, but some sort of party planner for the Pack.  My exceptional organization skills, coupled with owning a clipboard have made me seem like a reliable person for such events.  Most of my day was spent making sure my vehicle was loaded with the need table coverings, beverages, the awards for my den...a lot of shit, okay, lots and lots of shit in my vehicle, and a dish to pass.  You may imagine my temperament was less than lovely on this day ( the day the world did not end).  This event coupled with the fact that I had a family party at my house the following Sunday, and of course Christmas the following Tuesday.  It was hot mess time.  I had lists, my lists had lists, my clipboard was full, my wits were at their very end.  The Pack potluck ended up going fine, well it was over and that was all that mattered to me at the time.  A giant check could be made on this event and this day.  I did what most well adjusted people do after making it through a hectic event, I put my kids to bed and opened a beer.  This is where the best thing happened.  My December 21st miracle.  The life changer.  I turned on the television, flipped through the guide of 200 channels that generally disappoint me.  On this day my highlight on the guide stopped at A&E on a show called Duck Dynasty.  Bonus, it was on a marathon. (insert a "YES" with a fist pump)

I had seen posts on my social media about Duck Dynasty.  Some from people I actually respect.  I had never happened across it prior to this night.  The blessing of the Duck Dynasty marathon was exactly what I needed at this moment. (And beer was the correct call on beverage) Here is a brief synopsis of the show...it is a reality show based on the Robertson family of  Louisiana.  The family was poor, but made its fortune through duck calls made by Phil, the patriarch of the family.  Phil's middle son, Willie, went to business school and took the mom & pop business to a multi-million dollar business called Duck Commander and they also make Deer Commander calls.  The back story is great, but the best it just the way the family interacts.  It is a reality show with real feeling.  The Robertson family embraces their humble roots.  They seem to take the term red-neck as badge of honor, which is awesome.  It is just a show you just have to see.  It is funny, heartwarming, and you really just want to go hang out with these people.  My favorites are Jase and Uncle Si (he is a Vietnam veteran who has great stories he claims are 95% true).  I feel sad that I am so late to the DD party.  So if any of you were under the same rock I was...crawl out, now go check out the most fabulous reality show EVER.    

Forty is the New_____. WTF?

Happy New Year.  As the ball dropped in Times Square, and the insipid King of all Media, Ryan Seacrest counted down to 2013, he was also counting me out of my thirties.  What an ass.  Actually, I really do not care that I am now a 40 year old person.  I feel good.  I look rather okay-ish.
Ryan Seacrest is still an ass for a variety of reasons, the Kardashian reality franchise is his biggest jerk move.  Thanks for making us all dumber for hearing that famewhoring family's name.  I digress...that will not get better with age (bank on that).  A large majority of my friends have recently made the transition to 40...they are doing fine.  My beloved is 41, and as dashing as ever.  So forty is fine and dandy thus far.  However , it would not be me unless I could find something to b**** about.  Sure, I gave Ryan Seacrest as bit of blast, but he can go cry in his money if this little blogger hurt his feelings.  
Here is my gripe...
_____________is the new ________________.  It drives me nuts when people pull that crap.  40 is not the new 20.  Red is not the new Black.  Lindsay Lohan is not the new Elizabeth Taylor.  All of those statements are false and unadulterated rubbish.  I am not saying I have not used the foolish statements, but I am rather sarcastic, and use them as fodder.  However, there are people tossing these platitudes around like a football at tailgate party.  People that do not realize this is making them look like a condescending ass, or even worse, just a plain ass.  I appreciate the spirit in which people use these statements, but it is much like saying, "Giving 110%"...it can not be done and it creates a ridiculously untrue statement.

40 is 40. Red is red. Black is black.  Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck.  Elizabeth Taylor was a train wreck with talent.  It is what it is. Hate that one too, but at least it is true.

Happy 2013.  Wishing you love, peace, good health, and a dose of snarkiness.