The Stuff People Do in Cars

This morning I was taking a walk, organizing my thoughts, planning the attack plan for my day, and getting some excercise. I know that I should use the time to clear my mind, but you don't live I this brain so reserve judgement. Anyway what I observed people doing in there vehicles whilst driving made my walking mental jungle gym look like nothing at all. The crazy stuff people do while driving in thousands of pounds of metal with a gas combustion engine blows my mind. Let me also add a portion of my walk is along a fairly heavily traveled 45 mph suburban road, so this is not just going 20 mph in the subdivision stuff.

Here are some examples....

1. Eating food with utensils. I saw three different people driving and spooning food into their mouths. The other hand holding a cup and the steering wheel simultaneously. I get it, they are busy, hungry, and late. We have all been there. Can't they pick a food choice that is more simple? Why not a breakfast bar? That is a food begging to be eaten on the go. You should not bring a spoon or fork into the driver seat with you. Imagine stopping short and lodging that down your throat...not good. Now imagine what the paramedics are going be saying about you as they cart you to the hospital. Seriously, lets think the eating and driving thing through.
2. Reading. Yes, reading. At a stop light some guy picked up his morning paper from the passenger seat, laid it across the steering wheel and read at the light. I know, he was stopped. However, what is so interesting that he can not bear to sit at a light just waiting for the minute or whatever that it is red? Have we as a society become so short attention spanned that a traffic light is now "wasted time" that requires filling? The newspaper is a special moment for me. I would not like the distraction of having to stop reading to start driving. However, that may just reflect my priorities.
3. Make-up application. Sorry sisters, do not put your face on while driving, the reasons are plentiful. It is not optimal lighting, so the results are not going be stellar. Also it is a single focus thing, you can not see the road and look up and to the left to get your eye liner on just right. Please also take into account that mascara wands are not something you want jammed into your eye. You only get two eyes in this life...or so I have been told. Don't stupidly poke one out doing 45 mph with some darkest brown lengthening mascara. Just one person's opinion.
4. Texting. Okay, on this one I should add phone talking too, but I am guilty of the "talk and drive". However, I can see the road and talk at the same time...but I'm aware some conversations can be distracting. Okay driving texters, I feel your pain and temptation. I too am tempted to check my phone when the "text beep" sounds. I have the funny friend who always sends a funny comment or story and it begs a quick witty response. However, a person can not drive, see the road, and type a witty response all at once. Its is just not wise or safe. Confession: I have, on several occasions, thrown my phone to my third row of seating when the text beep comes through. I am too weak not to take a peak. Others need to be as wise, and have as good of an arm.

Driving is not a multi-task activity. Our minds are already geared with so many distracting thoughts, the food, newspapers, grooming, and phones really do not need to add to the "noise" that being human already generates. Keep it safe and I will work on zero phone usage in the car. Promise.

Winter Blues and Greys

As a lifelong Michiganian I am quite disappointed by the lack of snow on the ground this year. Honestly, snow is a special gift that I love to love and by the beginning of March, love to hate. The special relationship I have with snow is strained because I have not shoveled one single flake since...well I can not recall. It had to be sometime in the beginning of 2011. It is sad really. The kids are bummed about it. It just looks dead and grey outside. Sure the sky is a vivid blue and the sun is shining, but with no bright white snow on the ground to light up the whole of the outdoors. Yes, I am waxing poetic about snow, well the lack of it really. I like to shovel. I love to walk the dog through the snow. I love to see the snow forts my kids make. I even like to drive in the snow. I feel somewhat abandon by my lovely, white, flakey, frosty friend. The seasonal changes are my favorite thing about the marvelous mitten that is Michigan. It is Michigan's charm, the feather in her cap, if you will, is her wily weather. I miss her wily ways. I need some snow. I want snow. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in this case it is true. I can not think of one bad thing to say about snow. It's pretty. It makes the whole outside look magical. And I miss it, so much. I am going to research some snow dances and rituals that will help lure some much missed flakes to my part of the world. Let there be snow!

Re-entry

I must completely endorse taking a couple days of "just for you time". My weekend with my girlfriends was BEYOND wonderful. I can not say we did anything extreme or crazy...well aside from not doing laundry or cooking a meal. Talking, shopping (not crazy, mostly looking), a comedy show, and fun dinners & drinks. Honestly, so simple and so lovely, and so temporary.

Now I must share that re-entry into domestic life has been sudden and harsh. I love my husband and kids...they are precious. They also are completely confounded by the most basic of household operations. Here are a few of the most confusing things about our household.

1. The dishwasher is next to the kitchen sink. This is clearly too close for easy use. I left it empty and unlocked, this also seemed to make people believe it was broken or somehow not able to accept dirty dishes. Whatever the issue was I found that the dishes slipped quite easily into the machine upon my return.
2. The magical chute for clothing located in the bathroom. Yes, there is a special chute that takes dirty clothes from the upstairs to the basement where a magical 5'8" elf makes it clean again. Somehow, dirty clothing is too heavy to make it off the bedroom floors in this house. It seems especially challenging for my daughter, who has a room right next to the room with the magical chute for clothing. I may have to look into a strength training regime for her.
3. The magical 5'8" elf is not always in the basement doing laundry. Sometimes she is in Chicago

Today, I am household recovery mode. It is all worth it. I would not trade my life with anyone. Do I complain? Yes, I am human. I also completely celebrate that I have 3 humans, 1 cat, 1 dog, and a fish that need me to function. I will continue to try clear up all the "confusing" things that exist in our house, sometimes in a raised voice. Good, bad, or ugly, re-entry has happened, and I am okay with it...really, I am.

Girl Time

You know how a certain recently retired talkshow host always talked about making "you" a priority? Well this weekend, I am actually taking that advice, and heading out on a "girls weekend". The last girls weekend I had was in September of 2009....yeah, I know it is 2012. At least it is happening. I could not be more excited. Which I am totally containing around my family so they do not think I want to get away from them. I do. However, not because they are bad or defective, but because sometimes their many needs completely overwhelm my basic needs. Do you have any idea how many days around 10am I realize I have not eaten? Yes, some days the running about packing lunches, backpacks, finding clothes, and everything else makes me forget to eat. Yes, I am hungry when I wake up. The dog is hungry too, and she is more wiggly and persistent than I. She always has her breakfast by 7am, at the latest. Frankly, I need to adopt more of my family's persistent habits and learn to make them work on myself. I am pretty sure if I put my needs first they would all survive. I just have not put that into practice.

Anyway, this weekend is mine. Well, mine along with three other women who can also probably confess that they forget to eat and do a lot of other things for themselves. This weekend the Windy City should be on alert. We have made ourselves top priority. Yes, our husbands can handle the kids or they can't...I have decided that's not my problem. Perhaps I will call and check in, but I am not solving problems. I am not finding missing clothes from my mobile phone. I will not figure out a carpool (technically, I already arranged it). I am not telling anyone what to eat or when. I am resolute about this. I am taking the weekend off from the usual. This weekend is about my friends and me, being us...the us that we are are when we are not mom, wife, employee, and all the other titles we hold. This weekend we are The Girls.

Just Being Fancy

I have a new fabulous piece of technology that is going to help eliminate the excuse of not having time to blog. I have the iPad 2 and I just figured out I can blog from it! Please do not mock me. I have admitted that I have limited technical ability. I do not have a smart phone. I do not have a vehicle with back up assist and cameras. I am just a simple girl with a witty way with words and a vocabulary that makes most people cry or run for a thesaurus, sometimes both. Well, I am giving technology a try and who knows what will happen next. All I know is it is awfully fun sitting hear on Christmas night tapping on a screen with keyboard but no actual keys. I raise my glass of merlot to Apple for making less of a Ludite out of this lady . Merry Christmas!

Five For Friday

Today I dedicate my post to my friend Judy, who seems to enjoy my feisty personality, and actually asked if I was blogging today, after learning I was feeling extra feisty and unfiltered. Some would shy away from me when I am "truth telling" but not Judy. She is brave, she is the mother of two teen aged boys. I am guessing that makes her tougher than most. So here are some of my random and unfiltered musings...

1. Do Not Suggest Something You Are Unwilling to do Yourself. This should be a law. As I mentioned in many posts, I am a professional volunteer (that's right professional, as in do not try this at home. I am a professional, you may get hurt). Well, in this capacity I do many things, most relating to my kids and their various interests. I tend to do more than the average mom, but that is my choice, and I own it. Here is where the unseasoned person gets in trouble with me. Suggesting something else for me to do. As in, "I think it would be great if you could get all the scouts to march in formation, while singing America the Beautiful. That would be great if you could do that." Agreed, that would be simply amazing, however asking the person who is already the leader, and chairperson of several different activities to make this great moment in home video history happen for you, is insane. I speak for all the "do-ers" out there who get all kinds of things done...SHUT UP IDEA PEOPLE. If you are not willing to make it happen and lead it yourself, you need to zip it. If you have a great idea, you need to back it with some action.


2. U-turns are not the best way to go the other direction. My husband and I have noticed a marked increase in the U-turn on the streets lately. I am not sure if people are that worried about saving gas or are really that short on time or what. It is not a safe practice in a city. U-turn all you want on roads with no traffic, but you are begging for trouble doing that on the streets of this town. Use some common sense people!!!


3. Blue tooth users appear crazy. I say this because these people walk up and down the aisle of stores, seemingly talking to themselves. I get that the whole earpiece thing is a safety feature in the car so a person can have two hands on the wheel. However, walking around outside of your vehicle laughing and chattering away with no one next to you and your hands free...well, you look like a nut job. Associated with this is anyone who is using any type of phone in a public bathroom. Please, allow yourself a few uninterrupted moments to do your business. Everyone deserves a bathroom break, and I am pretty sure the world will continue to spin if you are out of the loop for five minutes. I am also sick of hearing your call while I am answering the call of nature. Enough said.


4. Cider Mills. I am not sure if I was disadvantaged as a child, but I never recall visiting a cider mill. I know they existed because we had apple cider in our home. Now it seems everyone flocks to the cider mills every weekend. My kids have gone on field trips to apple orchards and cider mills, but as a family we have not done this activity. I like cider and doughnuts as much as the next person, but why do I have to see the source of these foods being made? I also like salad. Should I go to the lettuce fields? A tomato patch? The crouton factory? I feel like a jerk not being all up on the cider mill visit, but I really do not get it. There are tons of bees swarming the sweet products, and the places are crowded to maximum capacity. Perhaps I am a cider Scrooge...I just do not have the Fall Harvest spirit. I am curious as to what three ghosts would visit me if I am indeed a "cider Scrooge". That feels like a whole blog post in itself.


5. Campaign for the 25 Hour I am still campaigning for one more hour in each day. I would blog more, and my nails would look better. My petitions to God have not yet been answered, but I will keep them up until I get less busy or He grants us all one more hour per day. Perhaps if some of the presidential hopefuls focused on giving people more time they could get me more interested in other things they have to say.

Have a wonderful weekend, whether you are at a cider mill, or wandering around like a nut talking on your bluetooth. Just keep it safe and avoid the U-turns.

FANtastically Tired

Here is what makes my husband crazy. I am a playoff sports fan. I do not care about any sport until it is down to the playoffs. That is when it matters, that is when I care. I am a HUGE Tiger's baseball fan RIGHT NOW. I always like the Tigers. If you give me tickets to the game, I will go and I will like it. When I am at a live game I tend to people watch and shop for spirit wear, but I love that stuff. Right now, I actually turn on the baseball game, even if my spouse is not home or if he is in another room. I can only really care when it comes down to the wire. This fickle fan dome baffles my spouse. He lives and dies by his teams. A loss can bring him down and make him very hard to be around. I on the other hand, can turn it on and off. I always semi-care, however I save the real depth of caring for the playoffs.

The baseball season is long. I think I have heard it is 160 some games long??? That is a lot of baseball. It is not humanly possible for me to care or even feign interest for that long. The Tigers have been having a phenomenal season, and I have been following it in news excerpts and fleeting glances at Sports Center. Until the playoffs...and now I am really watching whole games and losing out on some precious sleep. It is exhausting caring this much. Staying up late, and still getting up early. Last night's win against the Yankees actually made me so joyful, and excited I slept horribly. I was just too jazzed to properly fall asleep. If I cared all season long, and lost the amount of rest I have lost during the playoffs throughout the whole season...well, I would be a complete mess. I am not sure how you die hard, all season long fans do it. I am fully prepared to lose more sleep as the Tigers take on the Rangers. I will cherish the sleep on nights with no games, and I will very much appreciate any day games that may happen. Frankly, it is just so much fun to be swept up in the excitement. GO TIGERS!!! (I will sleep after World Series)