Throwing it Away

I have lamented on the mess that is my daughter's room. It is insanity. Clothes everywhere, papers on the floor, sheet music scattered, stuffed animals, all kinds of clutter. I complain on a constant loop to her about how horrid her room looks. I hate hearing myself, really I do. It is soul killing to henpeck her like I do. Soul killing for both of us. The fact is, yes her room looks like a bomb went off in a clothing store, but she never loses anything. She can find everything. Even worse she can find everything fairly quickly. The argument for order seems pointless, as she has her own order. Instead of preaching the gospel of throwing stuff away, and keeping good order, I am moving on. I am throwing away the constant nagging, and closing her bedroom door if she does not want her room clean. She is not embarrassed to have her friends see her messy room. In fact a couple of her friends are "neat freaks", and have commented on the mess. This does not phase my young messy one. She says things like, "My room. My way.". Oddly, she says it as if she has refrained from judging them on their tidy ways. Perhaps that is my clue that it does in fact take all kinds of people to make the world go around. The neat & messy, the morning people & night owls, the loud & quiet, the savers & spenders...so many different opposing personality traits. None of them really bad or wrong, just different. Judging a person, especially my own daughter, by my personal standards that are based on my preferences, is the thing that needs to be thrown away. I also know that in time she may evolve into a tidy person. If I reflect back on my own teenage bedroom, there was generally an unmade bed, and discarded outfit options from the morning rush to look "just right". Which in the mid-1980's, "just right" is a relative term, since photographic evidence provides some pretty cringe inducing fashion choices. Currently, I would not say I am a "neat freak", but I do not have dishes piled in the sink (ever), my bed is always made, and the clothes are put away 85% of the time. The health department would not condemn my house, but Martha Stewart would have a considerable list of "good things" I could do to make it better. I have evolved from my teenage messiness, and so too may my daughter. I am pretty sure my nagging will have nothing to do with it. Anyway, she is a neat person in her wit, creative endeavors, intellect, and just being fun to around. This momma is choosing to embrace her neat daughter, with a very messy room. And throw away my nagging.