Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Calling Home

I currently live a solid three hour drive from my parents, siblings, and the town which I grew up. One would think after seventeen years of being in my current location, one husband, two kids, several pets, and a lovely group of friends that I love later, I should call this place "home". You would think, but I do not. Whenever I refer to going to see my sister and parents I always say, "I am going home". A friend called me on this point when I was telling her I was going home to see my sister and her baby. She said, "You always say 'going home' when drive you go across the state. Don't you think this is your home?"

I did not really answer her. This was a big thinking point for me. I do have a home here, in my current location. I have a family all my own and they are great. I do feel very at home here. However, when I am with my parents, sister and brother I feel completely at home. The five of us that compose my family of origin are my true home. My parents do not even live in the same house I grew up in, but the "home" I refer to is the people, not a brick and mortar structure. These are the people to this day I scarcely have to say a word and they know what is going on. My sister and I can say one word or gesture and we dissolve into laughter or tears. People around us just stare at the spectical we cause with our "Betty & Wilma" laugh. (My husband coined the laugh the Betty & Wilma after the Flintstone characters. It is a fairly accurate description). It is "home home" when I am there. It is certainly not a slight or a criticism of my current home. I created my current home. I have hand picked the husband, the friends, and so many other elements. The kids are clearly a shared production, and I give credit where credit is due, we did fine work. Building a new home took years and it was not easy. Plenty of times I went home to see my family and I just wanted to stay. Everything in my original home is easy. It was established before I was born and I just blended in seamlessly. I never have to explain to my family anything about me. They know me. They get it. Sure they may think some things are odd or silly, but to them it's just, "Allie being Allie". It is wonderful to have that place where things are easy and people are accepting. That is home. Home, sweet home.

My current residence and community are nice. I have grown accustom to the way things work, where things are, and it is good. However, like I already mentioned, it has been a lot of work. It is hard not seeing my mom and sister as often as I would like. We have built a network of close friends that feel somewhat like brothers and sisters. Our friends treat our kids like nieces and nephews, which is a great blessing. Finding that network of friends took a long time. Yes, this place is my new home. I feel bad that many of my friends do not understand my attachment to my home three hours away. Most of them grew up here, have parents and siblings here. They do not understand the attachment to home, because their adult home and childhood home are so close. I also know that this home I created over the past seventeen years is what my kids will call "home" when they get older. Hopefully, we have created a place that they can pine for as I still do to this day. No matter where a person goes in life, it always nice to have a place you can always call home.

No comments:

Post a Comment