Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wicked Wednesday

Instead of being snarky everyday of December, I am only being wicked on Wednesday. My passion of alliteration makes this a good fit. Today I am taking aim at holiday songs that drive me nuts. I say "holiday" because few, if any of the songs I despise actually have much to do with the true meaning of Christmas. However, these songs seem to permeate the air in the shopping malls, department stores, and even Home Depot and Lowes (I hoped for sanctuary at a home improvement store...alas, none to be given). If I never here the following songs again, it will be too soon.

  1. Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney and Wings. The back beat, the tune, the whole thing makes my jaw tighten. The mood is never right for this song. I say this as a person that loves The Beatles, and Paul. This song just sucks.
  2. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. The little girl voice, the words, pretty much everything about this songs gives me the creeps. I get that it supposed to be daddy dressed as Santa, and that disturbs me even more. If my spouse gets in a Santa suit and even looks like he is going to kiss me, there will be trouble.
  3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Just awful. Enough said.
  4. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas. WHY??? Hippos are huge, poor tempered beasts that will charge and kill you. Also, the annoying kid singing (again).
  5. Jingle Cats and Jingle Dogs. I lump them together because both are simply wretched. I see my dog and cat actually cringe when they hear these songs. It must be the animal equivalant of the American Idol audition where the tone deaf person is belting out Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You. I cringe, and cry for that person's pride. Clearly, animal cruelty. I am sure several animals were injured or killed in the making of those two songs.
  6. Holly Jolly Christmas. I do not like Burl Ives.
  7. Santa's Beard. The Beach Boys. To much repetion, to contrived, gets stuck in my head and that is never good. The Beach Boys should have stuck to surfing and car songs.

Those are the major offenders in my world. Thank you for indulging my wicked rant. May your holiday be free of songs that make you miserable. Just be thankful it is only for 4-6 weeks of each year.

2 comments:

  1. What about "Baby It's Cold Outside"?? I hate that song. They could just change the name to "Date Rapist Anthem"

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  2. Since that song was in Elf, I kind of like it, because that is a great movie. However, I see your point and before Will Ferrell's bathroom rendition, I found it pretty icky.

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