Pet Peeve Monday

Today the list is long, and the day, I am informed, will still only contain 24 hours, so I need to be brief.

Last night while dining in a reasonably priced restaurant with my children, the people in the booth across from us drove me nuts. These people were complaining about every aspect of their reasonably priced meal. My daughter pointed this out to me, and she is at a very "complainish" stage in life. So if you are complaining enough to make her notice...well, you are doing something. First the coffee was too cold. The replacement coffee was too hot. (By the way, coffee is a hot beverage, thus the first complaint was valid. The second? That is called being a jerk). The man's reasonable prices steak was too tough. This reasonable priced restaurant is known for its pancakes, so why you would expect a Ruth's Chris style steak experience at a pancake house is beyond me. The complaints just kept flowing. In the meantime, my happy party of three was joyfully eating breakfast for dinner (a true delight). Well except my daughter who had to try the chicken and waffles, I am not sure how to classify that meal. She declared it a "taste treat". We had the same waitress as the complainers, a lovely person. Our food was prepared in the same kitchen, I even had coffee (it was great). I believe these people were just being malcontents. Perhaps they only see the bad in everything. Maybe they were angling to get a free meal. Whatever it was it reminded me that one of my pet peeves is people who go to reasonably priced restaurants and complain when they do not get five star food. It is on the same vein as people that are surprised that Taco Bell meat is not 100% beef. Really? That shocks you? The world must be a real trip for some people.

Happy Monday!

Motivational Speaker

Today I need a Motivational Speaker. No not a person that will tell me in five easy steps how to declutter my closets, or build a better connection with my spouse. I need an actual speaker, like a loud speaker, to follow me around yelling, "Do your list. You know you have more to do. JUST DO IT".

Yup, that kind of motivational speaker. My internal motivational speaker is broken today. Yesterday I was highly motivated. I did lots of laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, picked up the clutter on the counters, and I even washed down the kitchen cabinets. Yesterday I was the epitome of motivated. I was the spokes model for getting things done. Clearly, I over did it. Today I have a list and as I look at each item I say, "Nope, not now. Next". Then I get to bottom and go back to top and repeat. It is very repetitious and annoying. Where is motivated me? Did I use her all up yesterday, and now I am stuck with Apathetic Allie? No good proper work is done with Apathetic Allie. My mother would say, "It sounds like you are in a morass, a morose morass". Guess where I get my love of words and alliteration?

If I were motivated I would create this invention, the Motivational Speaker, to prod me on my way to accomplishing things when I feel like just sitting and reading a book. However, that seems like a lot of work. I know nothing of how to make an electronic gadget. Truth be told I am pretty sure there is already an "app" for it. There must be, there is an app for everything.

Today, if you are reading this, and you are motivated. Please create a Motivation Speaker for me and all the other inertia challenged people that need that extra bit of prodding now and then. However, I assume if you are reading this, you are also surfing the internet because you are avoiding doing something of purpose as well. In that case, enjoy. I am sure we will find our motivation again. Maybe not today, but soon. Happy Thursday!

Having A Quicky

Oh, do not get so excited. It is not Friday so I can not do Five for Friday. I do, however, have several little things on my mind and I am cleaning my kitchen. Let me rephrase that, I am "trying" to clean my kitchen. My words are pushing me to write, so write I must. Kitchen be damned.

1. When did that happen? Do you ever just look at a lamp, or into a corner of your home and see cobwebs or an insane layer of dust. Clearly this dust and webbing can not just happen overnight, but one day you look and think, "I am not Martha Stewart. I am not even a hobo Martha Stewart". These things creep up on me. Generally things like this spawn a mini cleaning frenzy. That is what happened in the kitchen today. The hood over the stove was crazy dusty. I swear last night when I was standing at that stove cooking that exact same hood was perfectly clean. We must have a dust elf that visited last night.
2. Spring pictures. When did schools decide that Fall school pictures were not enough and now they try to make people get Spring pictures taken of their children? I am fine with Fall pictures. I find that the picture packages are pretty expensive, but I roll with it once a year. Now I am being guilted into Spring pictures. Well, no I am not being guilted into anything because I am a strong woman, and I can say "no". Even the kids think its a dumb thing. They do not like Fall pictures, so they are glad to back me in my opposition to Spring pictures. It feels good to have a united front with them. It is a bit strange, since being a parent and being a kid so often puts us at odds with each other. Thank you stupid Spring picture flier for uniting a mother with her offspring.
3. LEGOS. I swear one of these days I am going to need to have a LEGO surgically removed from my foot. Clear LEGOS should be outlawed. My son does a great job cleaning up all except the "clears". I walk in his room and find the clears with my foot. OUCH. Generally I need to construct a string of obscenties long enough to make a sailor blush. Even worse, if the kids are home I have to clean it up. So then it sounds something like this, "Holy Mother of Pearl, I want to kick the sugar beat that invented froggin' clear LEGOS. What a flip floppin' jerk. My fooooot, my poooor fooooot". Yup, I pretty much can't stand the clear LEGO. Worst thing ever. Or until I think of something worse.

Thank you for indulging me in a quicky. Now back to that kitchen. I just peeked in there, it is not cleaning itself.

Its Not in the Cards

Do you and your significant other have something you just can not do together without getting mean with each other? For some its home improvements. I have talked to people who cannot grocery shop together. It seems all relationships have some "breaking point" activity that just needs to be avoided to maintain domestic tranquility. In my relationship it is Euchre. Yes, the card game. How stupid is that? Pretty stupid. However I have figured out why a deck of cards is our house of cards. I will fill you in on that later, the entertaining part is hearing the tumult that is caused by this card game.

Card playing is not something I did in my family growing up. We are not card people. We are are a cerebral people, we play Trivial Pursuit. I come from a family that likes to spout the crazy amount of useless facts in our enlarged heads. Are we all geniuses? No, not all of us. We could get pretty worked up in a game of Trivial Pursuit. It was competitive, and I loved it because even as a young person I had a lot of useless facts. I am proud of my useless facts. My useless facts make me fun to sit next to at a dinner party. Knowing a little about various topics makes for sparkling conversation. Point being card playing was not a part of my upbringing. Cards are not full of fun facts. Cards are cards.

My beloved spouse is from "card people". His parents had regular card games at their home. Socially this was their thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Many people play cards. I have girlfriends that carry decks of cards in their purses "just in case". Okay, "just in case" of what??? I have been afraid to ask.

Euchre has always been the card game that tested my patience with my spouse. Really, it tests his patience with me. I learned that game in college from one of my roommates and I liked playing with her and other people. True, I can not remember "trump" even if I call it up (seriously). In college it was fun. We would flirt to distract our competition. Good times. Until I played euchre with my future spouse, my brother, and his future ex-wife. Suddenly my not remembering trump, and not paying attention to my partners cards made a difference. Note: DO NOT OVER -TRUMP YOUR PARTNER. This seems to insight an annoyed rage in my spouse. Not a violent rage, even worse it is the eye-rolling rage. At times I was sure he would roll his eyes out of his head. This type of response from ones beloved is very painful. Even worse is the "talking about it" later. He honestly would replay how the cards were played and how I "over-trumped" his "trick". I can not even remember what trump is during the game, let alone all the card that were played after several hands of euchre. He takes cards seriously. That is the way he was raised. This scenario has replayed in several settings over the years. A close friend witnessed the "euchre curse" and I really think she was pretty shocked by the emotion. Even she said, "Maybe you two should not play cards together. Ever".

Trivia Girl can not roll with Card Shark. He enjoys this card game. He has skill and apparently a photographic memory. He does not know that John Quincy Adams used to swim in the Potomac River most days of his presidency (true fact). That is how we differ.

So is it really about the cards? No. It is about me not wanting my spouse thinking I am a moron. I really do not care what the rest of the world thinks. Any other person in a Euchre tournament can say, "Allie is a real dolt when it comes to playing cards", and I literally would not care. Well, I may have a few snarky comments, but that is just me. My spouse's opinion matters. It mattered when we were dating, and it matters to this day. So it has never been about the cards. The cards are just the thing that exposes a shortcoming in me that I prefer he not see. The cards are the pants or dress you try on one size too small (because just maybe they will work) and then look in the mirror to see the horror. No one wants their mate to see that. Cards expose my mental figure flaws.

This revelation that is not about the cards has taken me about seventeen years to realize. Perhaps because I have never wanted to admit that someone's opinion mattered to me. Perhaps now I can learn to play cards for enjoyment and to socialize. Maybe I am going to have to let him read this blog so he knows its not about the cards after all. Maybe.

Time Flying By

Time flies when you are having fun. That is what I have heard all my life. A one hour dentist appointment feels like an eternity. A one hour lunch with a friend feels like ten minutes. This fall my oldest is entering the 7th grade. She will have class changes, several teachers, not just one. She will have school dances. All those things that I have thought are so far in future, are upon me. Time has flown by. I guess I must be having fun being a parent! Last night we went to what will be her new school for the orientation, tour, and to select her "elective" classes. ELECTIVES, that is right, not just the usual specials. She gets to pick. I will now pat myself on the back by letting you know I did not tell her what to pick, or even make any suggestions. My very independent daughter also did not hesitate when marking down her preferences. I am proud she knows what she wants. I just wish she wanted her mommy around more. On the ride home we talked about what she thought of the school. (Its fine). Was she nervous about going to 7th grade? (No, it will be fine) Why are you being crabby with me? (See list below)

1. I do not have a cell phone and everyone else does, I will be the only 7th grader without a phone.
2. Make-up. I am the only kid that does not wear mascara and liner.

REALLY. This is what I am on the hook for, no phone and make-up? Great. I have a retort for both points. First of all, the kids with phones were texting and walking into people. Which makes them look unaware and rude. These texting kids were also texting the fool next to them, which is just plain stupid. If she thinks I am going to be complicit with her being a moron, she can guess again. When she gets a phone I can guarantee if I see her being this ridiculous, I will take it and turn off the service. I am not sure what is wrong with the parents that let their kids look foolish, maybe they were updating their Facebook statuses*. Something like this, "My kid is texting the person they are walking next to...lol...I am raising an idiot".

Point two, the make-up issue. My daughter has mile long eyelashes, that are also thick, and dark. I am not sure what these beauties would look like with mascara on them, but I am betting she will poke someone else's eye out with them. I am not blessed with lovely lashes, thus I do goop on some mascara and I have since about 8th grade. The surprise with this complaint was I have never heard her mention she wanted to wear make-up prior to last night. Honestly, I am not sure where I am standing on this issue. She looks lovely so I see no point for it, but maybe we can broker a deal by the beginning of 7th grade. I really do not want her putting her friends make-up on in the bathroom at school (we all know that is the alternative).

So time is flying by, throwing mobile phones and make-up tubes at me, waking me from my fantasy that my daughter will always be a little girl. She is really a smart, wonderful, young lady and blessing. Time is handing me a new phase in parenting. It is not that she needs me less, just in new ways. Now I need to up my game and become the parent of an adolescent...wish me luck.

*(Full Disclosure: I have a Facebook account, I regularly update my status. I do not do it mobile (ever) and I rarely, if ever use "lol". That was also a joke and in no way am I disparaging those who mobile update, or use "lol")

Life Is Too Short To_______

The title really sums up my prevailing attitude of late. Life is just too short to put up with some stuff. Life is also too short to put off some stuff. So here is my (partial) list and I encourage you to make a "Life is too short to ________" list. It really helps define the important things in life.

• Life is too short to not laugh everyday
• Life is too short to not make yourself a priority
• Life is too short to spend time on activities that make you miserable
• Life is too short to create drama that is not an original screenplay or a novel
• Life is too short to put off saying "I love you" to those who matter
• Life is too short to worry about what everyone else thinks
• Life is too short to not share your faith, your passions, and your vision
• Life is too short to not take a vacation from your problems
• Life is too short to keep score

Those are just a few off the top of my head and the bottom of my heart. Happy Valentine's Day! You are your own best sweetheart, the others are just lucky candy hearts.

Super Storm 2011 (run in a circle and panic!!!)

So a truly huge, ridiculous, super snowstorm is allegedly coming this way by Wednesday. I always try to ignore all the hype for these super-storm events, because more often than not the huge storm either never materializes or passes the area by only dropping a few flakes. Here is the problem, I was stuck in the store with those "preparing". Today is my normal grocery day, my family will also be prepared for whatever happens. However, I was forced to be grouped with the "reactors" (I like to defy classification, but today I could not). The check out person assumed I was stocking up for "the storm". NO, I AM JUST FEEDING MY FAMILY THIS WEEK LIKE I DO EVERY WEEK. Did I say this to the clerk? No. I pretended I was super worried just like rest of the shoppers. I am not worried, at all. Yes, it can snow a foot or more and I still will not be worried. I will be shoveling a lot, but worry will not creep into my mind. My shoulders will be sore, my body may get cold, my iPod may need to be recharged, but no worries. I really do not get why people get super worked up and worried about snow, in the Midwest.


I get why people in the south get freaked by a snow storm. It would be confusing and hard to deal with if snow was not part of the normal winter routine. No shovels, no snow pants, no cupboard full of cocoa, no winter driving skills, all of those things would make for a bad, snowy times. However, we are Midwesterners. We are tough. We can get on with life, no matter what. So let us quit worrying and whining like babies. Whether it snows 6" or 16" it will be fine. We will take up our shovels, or fire up the snow blower and deal with it. In out own quiet and stoic Midwestern way. Remember, there is no whining in snow removal!!!