No...I'm Not Joking

The burden of being a person with a quick wit and a cute comeback for pretty much everything is that no one takes you all that seriously. Somehow everything "the witty one" says is a joke or a punchline. Well, on occasion "the witty one" is serious. Okay, truth be told I am almost always serious, I just know how to phrase things so others will laugh. Its called diffusing the situation with humor, and I am a real hoot at funerals. As I was saying, being witty is a burden. I am currently in the midst of writing the wedding ceremony for my beloved sister, Betsy, and her wonderful husband-to-be Chris. I was honored when they asked me to officiate their marriage. I am a strong believer in the institution of marriage, even though I am pretty unconventional in many ways, I embrace marriage and hold it very dear. In order to officiate I had to become an ordained minister. I am pretty busy with the kids, house, the husband, and professional volunteering (my inability to say "no" keeps me going). Fitting in a trip to a seminary to become an ordained minister was not going to happen. I turned to the next best option, The Universal Life Church, on the Internet. Yes, one cold January night I sat down and got myself ordained. It was a pretty simple process. I had no idea that it was one of the funniest things I had ever done. It seems almost everyone that hears I am an ordained minster laughs. This group includes the pastors at my own church, my friends' spouses, my financial advisor, my son's teacher, and a few grocery store clerks. Yes, I have a wallet card with my credentials that I gladly show to people to prove I am a minister. No, I do not plan to start my own church, I like the church I attend just fine. My becoming a minister was out of love for my sister and not wanting some stranger to perform her wedding ceremony. Perhaps if I possessed a more reserved manner and was soft spoken, people would not feel like everything I do is a joke. Honestly, 95.8% of my daily life is void of humor. Which is why I try to see the humor in everything. There are far more unlikely candidates for ministry. Being a practicing Lutheran, a volunteer at my church, a member of a Bible Study group, and an occasional deliverer of the Children's Sermon makes me seem pretty qualified to be a minister. No, I do possess volumes of knowledge about theology. No, I can not names the books of the Bible in order. However, just because I am "the witty one" does not mean I am the irreverent one too. Well, sometimes I am irreverent, but that is because I am painfully honest and direct. So I declare, I am a minister, and NO, it is not a joke. I will not be doing a 15 minute monologue at the wedding ceremony, even if you beg. The reception, however, is another story altogether.