The Sorry Solution

I have recently come to recognize an odd verbal tic that my friends and I share. It is the compulsive urge to apologize for everything. We say sorry so often it is sick. The word "sorry" is bounced around so much that it has lost its meaning. Apologizing when you have wronged someone intentionally or unintentionally, is the good, right, and proper thing to do. I certainly do not advocate being am insensitive jerk. My friends are far from being jerks. I would wager some of them have apologized for the debt crisis, world hunger, and perhaps even the actions of the Unibomber. The way my "sorry" bunch of comrades uses the word "sorry" is like confetti at a parade. Here are some examples...

"Sorry your dog ran away". (Even though I did not leave the gate open)

"Sorry your chai tea is bland". (Even though I am not the barista and I know we are not the kind of people to have someone remake a beverage, even if it's awful)

"Sorry those shoes gave you blisters". (Even though you told me a 9.5 on a size 10 foot may cause that, I am still sorry)

"Sorry you burnt dinner". (I am even sorrier that you will have to listen to your kids complain about it)

Okay, some of the above examples are real and some are slightly exaggerated, but all are things either one of my friends, or I, have actually uttered. We need a new word or a new way of dealing with each other's misfortune. I have pointed out to one friend that she need not say "sorry" about something stupid I have done that has made my life temporarily tricky to deal with, if not completely miserable. It just is not necessary to apologize for something you have done nothing to cause. It is just cheapening the word "sorry". The when you really need to be sorry, the word is void of meaning.

I would much prefer empathy, to the straight out,and constant sympathy. Yes, there is a difference. Empathy, is when someone shares a similar tale of woe or angst so as to make the first person feel like they are not the biggest idiot on the planet. Sympathy, the saying of "sorry" in these woeful situations, just makes the person who has blundered feel incompetent. As if losing your dog, having blisters, drinking a bad hot beverage, and eating a burnt dinner is not punishment enough. What I need is a "stupid matching" or even better a "stupid one upping". Yes, instead of saying sorry and being sympathetic, just "out dumb" me. Dig deep and pull out a personal shame of such magnitude that it erases, or at least severely dwarfs my ridiculousness. Let us dispose of our "sorry", and be true friends and pump each other's egos. Let me walk away thinking..."Well, at least I am not that messed up", (as I go to purchase blister block bandages at the closest CVS).